#slam gang dnd

[ace-artemis-fanartist]

My dnd character Soren!

To find out more about him I made a character sheet for him here.

[artemistartarus]

I commissioned @azeher to draw my dnd boi Soren!

Look at how awesome he looks!^_^

[toournextadventure]

what once was mine

Summary: Karlach is back. For good this time. And she just wants to have her love back so they can finally spend the rest of their lives together like they had planned. Things just never seem to go her way.

Word Count: 8k Warnings: swearing, violence, murder, typical BG3/DND themes Pairing: Karlach Cliffgate x Reader

The birds were singing.

It didn’t matter how long Karlach had been out of Avernus. She knew she would never go back to Avernus thanks to the blueprints she and Wyll had found. By all accounts, she was free. And in the end, even that didn’t diminish the sounds of the birds singing in the air around her.

Her life had been idyllic since coming back from Avernus for the last time. It had been nearly two years since she had finished her adventure with Tav and the gang. Nearly two years since she had made the choice - which she had initially regretted but now celebrated - to fight for her life. Now, the rest of the gang had settled fairly close together, living their own lives of peace.

Something about defeating a Netherbrain really took the thrill of adventure out of a person, she supposed.

She enjoyed her days around Baldur’s Gate. At first, she hadn’t been sure if she could emotionally handle living in the city again. It held many great memories, but it also held tainted memories. The ghosts of things she could have had if not for Gortash and Zariel. The reminders of a love she had lost and couldn’t find again.

Those fears had been unwarranted, though, and she was more than happy to be living in Baldur’s Gate again. It felt like home to her, like the place she had been desperately trying to get back to. The entire gang - aside from Shadowheart and Lae’zel, who had settled in a farmhouse outside the gates - had moved in, enjoying their time together. Karlach could have guests. She could have a family again.

But Karlach could never get over losing you. Not when everything in the city reminded her of you. You were in the children’s laughter as they ran down the streets playing stickball. You were in the soft, hushed words someone gave her lover as they sat for tea. You were in the sun on the hottest of days, kissing her skin and leaving her warm and whole.

Gortash had told her about you before she had killed him. He had told her eagerly. She didn’t know if he had wanted to get her angry, or sad, or whatever else. She didn’t really fucking care, all she knew was it was his fault anything had happened in the first place.

“They’re an Oathbreaker now,” Gortash said between gasps for air. “Did you know?”

“Who the fuck are you talking about?” Karlach asked. She wished to just cut his head off and be done with him. She wanted her vengeance.

“Your pup.”

Karlach let the blade of her axe rest heavily on Gortash’s neck as his words sunk in. He was talking about you. And just the thought of something happening to you had her infernal heart roaring. Something had hurt you. Something had hurt you so badly you had broken your Oath. That was sacred. That damn Oath was your life.

“They frighten even me now,” he continued. “You should be proud.” She pressed the axe deeper into his skin. “They’ve gained quite the kill count.”

“You don’t get to talk about them,” Karlach growled.

“Maybe they’ll work with Zariel next,” he said with a sparkle in his eye and a sadistic smile. “It’s not like they have anything left to lose.”

Karlach lifted the axe, let out a guttural scream, and slammed it down on his neck. His head separated from his body with ease before rolling a few feet across the room.

She didn’t feel any better.

Tav had done her best to talk Karlach down from a panic attack, but that only worked so well. Eventually she made sense, saying that she couldn’t help you if she blew a gasket. Karlach couldn’t help but laugh because she was right. The last thing she needed was to overheat and not be able to help you. Wherever you were.

You were her next adventure. Her last adventure.

“I thought I’d find you up here,” Tav’s voice came from the other end of the rooftops. “Astarion said you hadn’t left since last night.”

“I knew he was being a sneaky bastard,” Karlach said with a smile as she pulled her knees up to her chest to make room for Tav.

“He’s worried about you,” she said. “We all are.”

Karlach sighed and rested her chin on her knees. She knew they were all worried. She could feel it in the looks they gave her and the too-soft touches. When they would hesitate, for just a second, before pulling her into a hug or patting her on the shoulder. When they choked on a sentence because, at least in their minds, it was too reminiscent of her hunt for you.

She loved that they all cared, but she didn’t think she could stomach it for much longer.

“Have you seen them again?”

Again. That word was haunting Karlach’s consciousness. It had been more than a few fortnights since she had found you and seen what had truly happened. What you had become after she had been sold to fight a war that she wanted no part in. Since she had more or less abandoned you and her parents through no fault of her own.

Karlach had done a lot of investigative work - which admittedly was really fucking shoddy - before having the slightest clue where you were. It took a lot of schmoozing, a lot of bribing Astarion with good wine, and a lot of talking with criminals before she finally heard of a supposed werewolf attack in the Lower City. Now that she could work with.

Her axe was strapped securely on her back as she stood in the middle of an intersection. It had been a while since night had fallen and the nearly full-moon had risen to illuminate the streets. If she looked carefully, she could see a few rats skittering across the cobblestone and into the sewers. In the distance, she heard laughter from the tavern a few blocks away.

Unless your internal rhythm had changed - and she assumed it hadn’t - you would be somewhere nearby. She should be able to hear the fracturing of bone and the whimpers that accompanied it. Neither you nor Karlach ever knew if it was a curse, a mutation, or you were just unlucky, but you wouldn’t only change on a full moon. You would partially change on almost full moons as well.

In an attempt to make you feel better about it, she had used to call you her special pup. You used to like it.

She hoped you still did.

Her right ear twitched at a sound that she couldn’t decipher. Listening harder, she heard it again. There you were. There was no doubt in her mind it was you. She hadn’t fought her way out of Avernus twice just to not be able to tell you apart from anyone else. Without looking anywhere else, she ran in the direction of the whimpers.

As much as Karlach didn’t think she would need it, she kept a mental note to grab her axe when she found you. If you were anything like what Gortash had tried to claim, she might need to knock a bit of sense back into you. Get you back to that kind soul she knew back in the day. But with each step she took, she got more unsure of what she would find.

Hells, she hadn’t felt that nervous since her first few nights in Avernus.

The sounds of screaming from men was enough to make her really nervous. There shouldn’t have been any screaming, at least not from other people. It should have only been you and her. You and me against the world, darling. That’s what you had always told her before she would leave for work. It should have still been that way.

It wasn’t.

Karlach would have recognised you even if she had lost her mind. You were her person, her love, she would never forget a single thing about it. The barb of your tail, the cut of your hair, the piercings in your ears that you had begged her to get with you. Matching piercings. Now that you were both older, it almost seemed childish.

She nearly tripped over a singed body because she was so enthralled by you. You. That was all it took to rid her of any sense. Gods, she had forgotten what you did to her. How just the sight of you alone was enough to set every inch of her alight. In a good way, of course.

There was an itch that she wanted you to scratch. The itch to feel your skin underneath her fingertips again. She wanted to trace your scars and kiss every random scale you had. Karlach wanted to know if your skin felt as warm as she remembered, or if it would be cooler now that she ran hot instead. And if she let her mind go to far more inappropriate places, she wanted all of that again too.

A strangled cry caught her attention again. Damn, she had gotten lost in you already. Maybe she should have taken Lae’zel up on her offer to accompany her for the night. At least then she wouldn’t be getting quite so distracted. At least not openly. Or maybe she would, she was already getting distracted again.

From where Karlach was standing, she couldn’t see your face. Only the back of your head, the tips of your horns, the clenched fist at your side, the way your ears laid flat against the side of your head. If memory served - and it did - you were at your most terrifying when your ears were tucked. You were one to try and hide any negative emotions, but your ears gave you away. Karlach had always loved it. She was undecided if she loved it in that moment.

In front of you was a man, no older than you or her, perhaps even a bit younger. He was on the ground, trying to scramble backwards away from you. Every inch he moved, you followed, your tail swinging slowly behind you. The words that came out of his mouth were rushed, but she knew begging when she heard it.

She couldn’t see your mouth, but there was a glow to your hand when you lifted it in front of him. If she didn’t want you to kill that man, she had better say something. Quickly. But what could she say? Hey there, long time no see! That would be stupid. Did you miss me? She didn’t think she could handle it if you said no.

She settled for something far more simple.

“Hello, love.”

The magical light in the man’s eyes settled into a dim glow as your own light faded. In Karlach’s mind, she pictured the look on your face. Euphoria. Pure joy that she was back, you could both enjoy the life you had always talked about. Perhaps, if you were truly feeling it, a small tear born from happiness. Her mind ran rampant with images of you running toward her, throwing your arms around her shoulders and holding her so tight you were both of one mind, body, and soul.

It wasn’t what she got.

You turned slowly, and more and more of your face was revealed to Karlach. Inch by inch she saw you. It was like the worst play she had ever seen in her life. She got to see the snarl of your lips ease, turning into something more… pitiful. If you had been anyone else, she would have described it as pathetic. The fist at your side turned into shaking fingers.

The look in your eyes was like a dagger through her heart.

“Karlach?”

Your voice quaked the same it had the night you were bitten. Terrified. Hopeless. Small. There, that was the perfect description for how you sounded. You sounded small. But if there was one thing Karlach had gotten right in her imagination, it was the tear that slid down your cheek.

It just wasn’t happy like she had wanted.

“No,” Karlach finally answered Tav. “I haven’t seen them since then.”

In a move that had always warmed Karlach’s heart, Tav leaned over and rested her head on her shoulder. It was a gentle move, one that had enticed everyone in the group at one point or another. Something that instilled far more calm than it had any right to. And Karlach was falling for it yet again, indicative by the calming of her racing heart. Er, engine.

“You’ll find them,” Tav said softly. “Maybe you’ll find them in the city having tea.” She laughed. “Wouldn’t that be quite the treat?”

Initially, Karlach had laughed. After how hard she had tried to find you the first time, it was a funny thought. To just happen upon you by chance in the city? It didn’t even matter if it was the Upper or Lower, the thought alone was enough to have her laugh. Wouldn’t that be the best luck in the world?

Perhaps it wasn’t so funny after all.

Karlach did find you having tea in the Lower City. Or, not exactly tea, but she caught you having a drink. She had made it a habit to go by taverns in the evenings not to find you, but to relax. Enjoy the scenery and the social aspect of it all. Having drinks alone in her own home wasn’t quite as enjoyable and, honestly, it made her sad.

So of course she had stopped by the Blushing Mermaid. A simple tavern full of seedy criminals and illicit business. There were nightly brawls, horrible songs, shitty people, and stiff drinks. It was some of the most fun Karlach got into since she had informally retired from adventuring. Few places gave her as much excitement as that tavern.

But when she walked into the tavern and looked for a place to sit, she saw a familiar pair of horns and tail. She didn’t think twice before walking over to where you were sitting. A small table for two, and lucky for her, the second seat was empty.

“Mind if I join you?” She asked.

You flinched.

“Not at all,” you said.

She could feel your eyes on her as she sat down across from you. Well, she didn’t only feel it, she saw you watching her. The same way she watched you. Unblinking. Like seeing you was nothing more than a dream, and if she looked away then you would disappear. Or she would disappear, she wasn’t sure what would be more nightmarish.

You locked eyes even after she sat. It was uncomfortable, to feel like you were staring into her very soul. Karlach would always remember your eyes, she had always gotten lost in them. They had the most miniscule light in them, nearly illuminating them in the dark. Not too different from her own when she heated up.

Gods, she had missed your eyes.

You eventually pushed a tankard toward her. “Here,” you said. “You look like you could use it.”

“Thanks, love,” she said, eagerly taking it and downing it. She did need it.

Uncharacteristically, a barmaid came over to the table and leaned against it. She was pretty. Not just by seedy tavern standards, but just in general. There was no reason she should be by the table. Karlach desperately hoped she wasn’t going to get roped into some ridiculous job.

“Hungry, darling?” The barmaid asked you.

Karlach bristled at the use of the pet name.

But you looked directly at Karlach and waited with expectant eyes. Oh. Oh, that gave her butterflies. Some pretty girl called you “darling,” and you didn’t stop looking at her? You certainly remembered the way to her heart, that was for sure. She did her best to push away the, well, other thoughts from her mind.

“Whatever’s hearty,” Karlach told the barmaid who looked none too happy to be talking to her. “And keep the drinks coming.”

“Put it on my tab,” you told the barmaid as she started walking off. She gave you a smile that quickly turned into a scowl when she looked at Karlach.

“The staff know you well,” Karlach said once she was certain you weren’t going to talk first. She supposed she couldn’t blame you.

Only a few weeks ago, you had probably thought she was dead.

“I spend a lot of coin here,” you said. “Talk flows like beer, for the right price.”

“And you’re looking for talk, are you?” She tried to sound flirty. Maybe it was foolish, but she wanted you to flirt back. Even for just one evening, she wished to act like nothing had ever happened.

“I’m looking for the bastards who ruined my life,” you said.

So, flirting wasn’t back in the picture just yet.

“Right,” Karlach said as she sat up straight in the chair. “I suppose that’s worth the coin.”

“And some,” you said softly.

Your left hand stayed resting on the table as you lifted your own tankard to your lips. Karlach cursed the wooden mug. It hid her view of your pretty lips from her. At least it forced her to look elsewhere. Like your hand. There were more scars than she remembered. Little ones ravaging your fingers. She wished she could have been there to kiss them better as they healed.

She wished you would let her kiss them better now.

You both smiled politely at the barmaid when she came around and set the food and wine on the table. The tavern continued to rage around you both as neither of you were willing to make the first move. Behind her, Karlach heard the start of a fight. She desperately wished to watch. Or join in.

“You should eat,” you finally said, gesturing your head toward the warm bread and stew. “Coming back from the dead must be exhausting.”

There it was. Karlach knew it would come up at some point, especially if she managed to get as close to you as she was in that moment. But knowing that it was coming didn’t make it hurt any less. To see the borderline betrayal in your eyes when you looked away quickly, focusing on anything but her.

She reached out to place her hand on top of yours in the best form of comfort she knew. You looked at her hand, and for a moment your face softened. For a moment, there was a small spark in your eyes again. Underneath hers, your hand turned around and pushed up, forcing both of your palms together. Karlach had always loved comparing hand sizes; it gave her an excuse to hold your hand.

The moment disappeared when you pulled your hand back and placed it in your lap.

“I wasn’t dead,” Karlach said softly. She hoped you couldn’t hear the hurt in her voice.

“Then where were you?” You asked, “Because you certainly weren’t here.”

There was no way to tell if you were actually tearing up, or if Karlach simply wished you were. She wanted you to have missed her. Not to hurt, but to miss her touch. To miss her smell, or waking up beside her, or even just being near her. She was desperate to know you had missed her as much as she had missed you.

She wanted you to have loved her that entire time.

“You ready for a long story?” She asked.

You nodded once, and the tale began.

Karlach knew, more often than not, that she rambled when telling stories. A lot of times she would even over-embellish to make the tale more exciting, or make herself seem more brave, more amazing than she really was. Sometimes her stories involved death, despair, and harrowing adventures that only the great Karlach could escape.

This was nothing of the sort. There were no grand theatrics or tales of grandeur. It was simply the truth. How she had been sold by someone she had trusted with her life. How she had fought a battle she wanted nothing to do with, and finally, by some miracle, managed to find a group of people that she genuinely cared about. And who cared about her in return.

You watched patiently. Gods, Karlach had missed your patience. Whether it was for something small, or large, or insignificant, it didn’t matter. When she would come to you, fuming about something that had happened, you had waited patiently for her to finish her rage before talking her through all those feelings. She missed having you to talk through her feelings with. Dealing with them on her own wasn’t as easy.

Although she almost laughed at how wide your eyes got when she talked about the whole tadpole thing.

“You all knew what was going on in each other’s minds?” You asked.

“Yup,” Karlach said, popping the “p” loudly. “Things got real interesting when the feelings started to come out.”

“No doubt you got a front row seat to some rather raunchy nights,” you said with a smile and the lightest laugh.

Oh Gods, Karlach could melt right on the spot just from that sight.

But the smile and laughter quickly died down, and you set your jaw once again.

“Gortash told me you never showed for duty that morning,” you said without any emotion. “Said it right to my face.”

So that’s what he had said. From the moment Karlach had gotten back to Baldur’s Gate, she had wondered what everyone had been told of her sudden disappearance. Had they been told that she had died on the job? That some mysterious warlock had taken control and kidnapped her? Surely he hadn’t told the truth that he had sold her for his shiny new toys.

She hadn’t expected something so… mundane.

“I would have never left without warning,” she said softly.

You chuckled humourlessly. “I knew that,” you said, “and so did your parents.” You let out a deep sigh. “But neither Gortash nor I could offer any proof one way or another.”

The noise of the tavern was more rowdy now that it was getting later into the evening. You were looking out into the crowd, and Karlach saw the strong set of your jaw. The twitch of your ear. She tried not to lose her cool when your tail brushed against hers. Keep yourself calm, Karlach, she told herself, you’re finally making progress. It didn’t help that your tail intertwined with hers and stayed that way.

“And you killed him?” You asked, finally looking back at her.

Angry you was a sight to behold. It got Karlach all hot and bothered.

“I did,” she said proudly. “Even put his head on a pike for shits and giggles.”

“Good,” you said with a nod. “He deserved worse.”

In all honesty, Karlach agreed with you. Gortash deserved worse than death. She wished she could have put him through everything she had been forced to go to. To have him fight a historical war, have him fear for his life every second of every day. Force him to live each day not knowing if the people you loved were safe.

But she didn’t want to be thinking about Gortash. Not that night. She wanted to be thinking of you. To sit with you, and enjoy being in your presence once again. It was a long shot, but she wanted to feel your hand in hers. There had been many years between your last meeting, she wanted to rediscover everything about you like it was the first time.

In short, Karlach wanted to fall in love with you all over again.

“Are you busy in a few nights?” Karlach asked.

Your head tilted to the side. It was adorable. “What?”

“Are you busy?” She asked again.

“I don’t- I don’t know,” you stammered. “Why?”

“Well,” she started, drawing the word out. “I know it’s been, ah, a little while.” She ignored the roll of your eyes. “I was wanting to go on a date.” You kept looking at her. “With you.” Silence. “We would go together.” A twinkle in your eye. “You can stop me at any point.”

Your stunning smile returned. A small smile, one that, in the past, had accompanied trouble. Gods, she loved you. She was willing to put in all the effort necessary to rekindle that romance, but she loved you. Every little bit of you. From the tip of your horns to your toes.

And she very much loved the way your fangs got caught on your lips.

But that smile fell again. Karlach wished she could have a painting of your smile so she could look at it whenever she pleased. You were far more serious this go around. The same air of triviality was gone, replaced with something Karlach wasn’t entirely sure she liked. Something had hurt you. It had hurt you deeply, and she didn’t quite know how to help.

“You don’t want a date with me,” you finally said.

“Oh, don’t say that,” Karlach tried to stop you. “I missed you every moment I was gone.”

“You missed someone who no longer exists,” you said. “That person died with their Oath.”

“You’re more than an Oath, lovely,” she said softly as she leaned forward on the table.

“You miss someone who laughed,” you continued. “Someone who had kindness in their heart and wanted to keep everyone safe.”

Karlach stayed silent.

You leaned forward on the table to match her posture. “I want to catch the bastards who ruined my life.”

“Then I’ll help you,” Karlach said. “If you haven’t noticed, I’ve got some extra muscle to use.”

You shook your head. “You’re not understanding.”

“Then explain it to me,” she said. “Because I spent over a decade away from you, and I’d like to try and get some of that time back.”

“I want to watch the bastards burn,” you said. “And I don’t care who burns with them.”

The very tone in your voice was enough to freeze Karlach to her core. That was an unusual feeling. It was uncomfortable. She wouldn’t dare change her mind, but she had the eerie feeling that you were right. You weren’t quite the same as the person she had fallen in love with in her younger years.

You finally reached out and placed your own hand over hers. Karlach exhaled deeply and looked down. You were touching her. You were all but holding her hand. And she had been right, you ran cooler than her now. It was a wonderful contrast, something that sent a shiver down her spine. Oh, she wanted to feel your hands all over her, holding her tight and never letting go.

“You have a big heart, Karlach,” you said softly. “And I never stopped loving you.” Karlach felt her engine stutter. “I will not taint the very thing I love about you.”

She watched, motionless, as you stood up from the table and walked over to her side. Without the hint of fur, you looked more like she had remembered. Soft, warm, utterly beautiful. And when your lips pressed against her cheek, she wanted to cry. It was one thing to imagine the feel of your lips again, but now that she had it? She would kill to keep it.

“Stay away, Karlach,” you said when you stood back up.

You carelessly dropped some gold on the table, gave her one last look, and left the tavern. Once again, you had disappeared on her. The tavern was full, more full than she had seen in months, and she felt alone. She had watched you walk away again and still couldn’t bring herself to follow you and beg you to stay.

It didn’t take long for Karlach to realise what you had meant when you said you didn’t care who you took down in your journey. At most, it was only a tenday later that she got wind of the explosion at an old abandoned church. The explosion had killed a dozen people, three of them children. Stories made their rounds around the city of a tiefling with scales and dark spells.

Karlach knew in her heart of hearts that it was you.

She tried to catch you in the act. Fuck, she tried for months to catch you. The whole gang had even come together to try and help, keeping their eyes out for any sign of you. The only one who managed to find out part of your intention. When you had mentioned the “bastards who ruined your life,” you were talking about the local pack of Werewolves. Which made sense, as far as she knew, they were the ones who had attacked when you were younger.

The only thing none of them could piece together was your methods. Sometimes they would find the remains of a Werewolf, other times they would find unrelated bodies. How had you managed to continue moving around the city when it was fairly well known that you were, at the very least, a suspect? Did you know, or did you simply not care?

Karlach didn’t know what to do. She knew you were good. She knew you. Broken Oath or not, you wouldn’t change completely. You wouldn’t ruin your life for revenge, that wasn’t in your nature. And even if it was, Karlach believed in you. Nothing could have pushed you that far.

Regardless, Gale and Shadowheart convinced her to have her axe coated in silver. Just in case.

“I think I know where your little killer will be,” Astarion said during their regular dinner at Karlach’s house.

“Where?” She asked quickly. “Are they okay?”

“I believe they’re fine,” he said nonchalantly. He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the table. “Hells, word gets around the monster world. You should be asking if everyone else is fine.”

“Astarion,” Karlach warned.

“Alright, fine,” he sighed. “There’s a party in half a tenday,” he said. “A large portion of Were creatures are supposed to attend.” He picked something out from between his teeth. “Word underground is your little darling will be there.”

Karlach practically jumped into the seat across from Astarion. He didn’t even flinch; it was rather big of him. Sometimes, whether he intended to or not, he seemed a little wary of her sporadic movements. Maybe it was because he couldn’t predict them, or maybe she was just too loud. She didn’t know. But now, after so long together, he didn’t even budge.

She was so proud of him!

“How confident are you in your source?” She asked.

He laughed. “Darling, it’s not a source,” he said. “It’s coming from a friend.”

“Sorry,” she said softly. “I just want to help them,” she said. “Before they do something they regret.”

It was deeper than that. Hells, everyone knew it was deeper than that. Even Astarion, who made it a point not to see the deeper meanings of things, could see right through her as if she were glass. She didn’t just want to keep you from doing something stupid. She wanted to get back the life she had with you before everything went to shit.

She just wanted you back.

Astarion’s hand was cold on hers, and she looked up to see he had moved closer to offer a rare display of physical comfort.

“How about I do some digging myself, hmm?” He asked. “After all, I am rather charming.”

“Just don’t push them,” Karlach said with a smile. “I can’t guarantee how they feel about vampires.”

Astarion laughed. It was a nice sound. “Lucky for me, I’m simply a spawn.”

It was rather lucky for Astarion. It was only a few nights later that he came to see Karlach, out of breath and uncharacteristically shaky on his feet. You were very much not entirely okay with vampires, but you gave him a pass. He relayed your message - telling her to stay away, as if she would actually do that - and offered to join her at the party.

She quickly agreed it would be best.

Acknowledging that she might need help was a hard pill to swallow. There was no chance, no way in the Hells that she would have to do anything to stop you. She wasn’t foolish, but she knew her worth. If she could just get you to listen then it would be fine. You could both enjoy the party and then ride off into the sunset.

When the evening of the party came around, Karlach felt rather pretty. Her dress was gorgeous and it could hide a few weapons. Beside her, Astarion looked as handsome as always, and they both appeared at the party as if they had been personally invited.

Well, technically Astarion had been, but Karlach enjoyed feeling like she was sneaking in. It was more fun.

The party itself was swinging. All the energy in the air changed the moment Karlach and Astarion stepped into the underground hall. If she didn’t know any better, she would have sworn it was a ballroom in one of the above ground castles. Gods, she was in love with it. The architecture, the people, the energy. She wanted to grab Astarion and just dance the night away.

“Shall we?” Astarion asked as he held his hand out for Karlach to take.

“Oh fuck yes,” she said eagerly.

For the life of her, she couldn’t remember the last time she had had quite as much fun as that evening. Children were laughing, people were talking, the mood was light and airy. Hells, a few kids even asked her for a dance. Her! Could you believe it? She certainly couldn’t, and it was made even more hilarious when they asked Astarion next.

Karlach excused herself for a moment to grab something to drink. Dancing was exhausting, and she was parched. At that moment, she didn’t care if it was wine, beer, or simply water, she just needed a small break. A small drink, then she could get back to the party and have her fun. Gods, she wished you were there with her-

-oh.

In all the excitement, she had nearly forgotten why she was at the party in the first place. It wasn’t for a fun and exciting date night with Astarion, even though she would certainly take him up on the offer again in the future. She was there to keep people safe. To keep you safe.

More children laughed.

Oh boy.

If you were truly around, she needed to find you. She needed to get to you before anything happened, if anything even was going to happen. Her feet carried her around the giant hall, allowing her to look in every crook and cranny for anything potentially dangerous. The entirety of her heart hoped she was wrong and you weren’t there, you were simply upset.

Her mind wasn’t so convinced.

The hope was starting to take over when she approached the final few corners of the hall. There was nothing to be found. No bombs, no barrels, no nothing. Perhaps Astarion’s friend had been wrong and you weren’t there. Wouldn’t that be a miracle? It would give her more time to find you and perhaps talk a bit of sense into you-

“-I told you to stay away.”

Never mind, no time for miracles.

“You know I’m stubborn,” Karlach said as she turned around to look at you. Unlike her, you stayed dressed for business. “You always found it cute.”

“It stopped being cute a long time ago,” you said as you practically stormed off down a hall that Karlach hadn’t noticed.

She followed you instantly.

“Mind sharing your nefarious plan?” She asked once she finally caught up to you. Gods, you could move fast.

“Leave, Karlach,” you huffed.

“You know there’s children up there, right?” She continued.

You pulled up to a stop, and even though she was watching your back, she could see the heavy fall of your shoulders. What were you thinking? Surely you weren’t really going to risk all those people. They weren’t all guilty of whatever you accused them of. It wasn’t possible. This wasn’t you.

It couldn’t be.

“Take your spawn and leave,” you finally said. “I won’t tell you again.”

Karlach stayed frozen in place as you walked forward only a little more, stopping at what appeared to be a book. A… spell book? She didn’t think you had any interest in that subject. You certainly had never shown interest before. Why would you care now?

“What’s that?” She asked as you took a page out of the book.

You sighed and refused to look at her. “A Scroll of Cloudkill,” you answered.

“You can’t use that,” Karlach said.

Her engine froze over when you finally turned to look at her. Your eyes weren’t sad, not really. They were more… resigned. And maybe a little sad. But it was silly, you wouldn’t use that scroll on everyone. It would kill people, you knew that. And you weren’t one to kill people unnecessarily.

“I told you,” you said with a shake of your head. “I don’t care who burns with them.”

Karlach had a moment, only a moment, to make a move. If she stayed there, you would head into the party and kill everyone. She couldn’t do that. She couldn’t allow you to do it, no matter how much she loved you. Something you had always loved about her was her sense of right and wrong.

This was wrong.

She quickly stepped in between you and the hall where everyone was still laughing and enjoying their evening. You were both just far enough away that no one would hear. The look in your eyes changed as you looked at her. It broke her heart. She was determined not to move.

You crossed your arms over your chest and cocked your hip.

“I can’t let you do this, lovely,” Karlach said softly. “They’re innocent.”

“They’re as guilty as I am,” you said.

“Not the children.”

“Not yet.”

Karlach sighed. She had forgotten you were just as stubborn as she was.

“What happened?” She asked you. “What hurt you this badly?”

“Just move,” you said with a shake of your head.

“Not unless you tell me,” she argued.

Your jaw tensed. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Just tell me,” she said. “How bad can it be-”

“-I killed your parents.”

Oh.

It could be that bad.

“It was a full moon and I was distracted,” you said with a quivering bottom lip. “Your parents made the mistake of coming to help.”

No. That couldn’t be the truth.

“I slaughtered them,” you continued with a shaky voice. “Just the same as I slaughtered my own parents.” There was a fire in your eyes.

No, no, that wasn’t true. You had loved her parents. They had loved you. You all made up the happiest little family Karlach could have ever imagined. She had dreamed, night after night, of coming home to have everyone together again. Her family was what got her through all those years alone.

“If they-” you pointed toward the party “-hadn’t cursed me, they would all still be alive.”

Karlach couldn’t understand your words. Nothing was adding up. You had always taken precise precautions to keep yourself and everyone else safe during a full moon. She remembered helping you, ensuring the shackles were where they should be and were tight enough to keep you in place. You would have never done anything to risk anyone else.

“They took everything from me,” you said. “My Oath, my family, my freedom.” You exhaled harshly. “I want to watch them burn.”

You had sworn an Oath of Devotion.

They’re an Oathbreaker now.

You weren’t the same.

Karlach stood taller, reaching for the disguised silver sword she had managed to sneak in. She wasn’t the most comfortable with the type of weapon, very much wishing she had her axe, but it would do. Your eyes immediately went to the weapon in her hand, and your shoulders fell.

“I can’t let you kill them, love” she said.

For the first time in a long time, Karlach prayed. She prayed to any and every god that she could think of. Small and large, good and bad, she didn’t care. She just prayed. Prayed for you to come to your senses and come back to her. Come back to her because she loved you, and she couldn’t bear to see you so hurt.

If she looked close enough, she thought she could see a tear in your eyes.

“Fine,” you said softly. You reached over your shoulder and pulled your own sword out of its sheath. “You’ll burn with them.”

Neither one of you were willing to make the first move. Karlach was smart enough to know she didn’t have her weapon of choice, and hopefully you were smart enough to know she had the upper hand when it came to strength. You had never matched her in muscle, instead opting to be more agile. She remembered when you had spared for fun.

This tainted the memory.

You moved first. A heavy overhead chop. Karlach blocked it easily, and you stepped back. But it was enough of an opening, and she went in for it.

Neither of you had the upper hand. Even from the start, she knew you would be evenly matched in one way or another. Karlach had fought in Avernus, but you had the perks of a Werewolf and an Oathbreaker. And, as memory served, you played dirty.

She clenched her teeth when she knocked you back with a blow to the chest. She had simply used the pommel of the sword, refusing to use the blade. But you looked up and her and mumbled a few words, and Karlach felt something crawl up her legs. Roots. She was stuck.

You stood up and started walking over. “Stay.”

The engine in her chest raced. She couldn’t let you leave. Frantically, she looked around the small room, looking for anything she could use to either get herself loose or- aha! Karlach reached out and grabbed a chair. A quick prayer left her lips - both for you and herself - before she threw it.

The noise you made when the chair hit your back would have been comical if she hadn’t been trying to stop you from committing potential genocide.

The blow was enough to ruin your concentration, and the roots slithered back down Karlach’s legs, freeing her once again. You looked at her once, only once, before turning back toward the party. Now that was just fucking rude. You couldn’t even give her more than a glance after that?

She ran up behind you and, before you could fight back, wrapped her arms under yours and locked her fingers behind your head. You growled; a sound that normally would have gotten Karlach all hot and bothered. Pain radiated through her leg when you kicked out, hitting right above her knee.

Just for that, she pulled her arms higher, lifting you off the ground.

“Let me go,” you groaned between clenched teeth.

“Promise you’ll stop,” Karlach said into your ear. “Promise we’ll go home.”

For a moment, you stopped struggling, and Karlach let herself get hopeful that you agreed. She could get over all of this. She could forgive all of this. It was a simple fight, lots of couples had fights. Sure, it had been building up for over a decade so it was a little�� nasty… but it was normal. You could both go home and work it out another way. A sexier way, even.

But her hopes were too high. Again. When Karlach had let her guard down, you kicked out again. Your boot connected with her hip, and instinct had her doubling over to protect the spot. It was all you needed to get out of her grasp and turn back around to face her.

The silver sword was right beside her foot. All she would have to do was grab it, and you wouldn’t be going anywhere. All she had to do was subdue you, and then you couldn’t fight back. You couldn’t get into the party, and you would listen. But she didn’t think she could do it. She couldn’t hurt you.

You turned away from her and, once again, slowly headed toward the party.

A groan left your mouth before the sword clashed to the floor again, quickly followed by the sound of your knees hitting the cobblestone. Blood flowed freely from the newly created wound on the back of your knee. It was a disgusting black colour, not typical of you at all.

Then again, nothing was typical of you anymore.

Karlach limped in front of you and picked up the sword once again. You clenched your teeth and looked up at her in shock. She had hurt you. No, she had made you bleed. She had used silver against you. It would take you months to heal from the wound, and that was assuming things went well.

The very thought made her chest ache.

“You were supposed to be the same when I got back,” Karlach said slowly. “Everything was different, but you were supposed to be the same.”

You stayed silent aside from the occasional groan.

“You know the pathetic part?” She asked. It was a rhetorical question. “If you agreed to go home with me right now, I would forgive everything.”

Something lightened in your eyes. She knew better than to hope for the better.

“I would forgive you for trying to kill children,” she continued. “All because I love you.”

You looked away.

“The thought of you got me through Avernus,” she said. Her hip ached. “The thought of you gets me through now.” She sighed. “Because they may have taken my physical heart, but you’re my real heart.”

“Karlach- hey!”

Pink ropes circled your body and constricted. You groaned when they tightened again. Karlach hadn’t done that. She didn’t even know any of those spells. Footsteps came up behind her, quickly giving way to Astarion; who just so happened to be holding a scroll.

“Stop spewing poetic,” Astarion said, “it’s beneath you.”

“Spawn,” you spat out.

“Mutt,” he shot back.

“Why are you here?” Karlach asked.

“Party’s over,” he said, “The Watch is coming.”

Oh Hells, there was just no room to breathe anymore, was there? She was trying to open her heart to you! She was trying to change your mind! They needed to butt out and let her grieve!

“We need to go,” Astarion said.

She looked down at you. The smallest trickle of blood was falling from your nose; no doubt from the constricting ropes that continued to tighten. If she left you, The Watch would catch you. It was clear everyone knew you were guilty of one thing or another. What wasn’t clear was if The Watch would rather protect you or the Underground.

Oh Hells.

“Come on, pup,” Karlach said as she grabbed you and threw you over her shoulder; much to your protest. “We’ve gotta go.”

“Must we take them?” Astarion asked.

“If we leave them, they’ll turn you in for scraps,” she said after she started walking down the hall.

“I’d turn him in for free,” you mumbled.

You grunted when the ropes constricted again.

“This scroll is glorious,” Astarion commented.

Oh Hells. Karlach was not looking forward to whatever was about to happen.

Well. In some roundabout way, at least she got you back. Some demented version of you, sure, but… Mum always had taught her beggars couldn’t be choosers.

[dstryvampres]

okay so...one shot inspired by song "my oh my" (by aqua) (or just a pirate au) with neil lewis?

I do not write pirates well(I have no knowledge of them sorry anon) so I'm so so sorry that this is not very well written or long !! forgive me pleasee. this is more dnd based than realistic.

Pairing: knight!Neil Lewis x pirate!reader

Warnings: no smut this time sorry gang, mentions of violence, sword fighting, Neil is so so so ooc

Word Count: 911

Neil fucking Lewis, if there was ever a man you hated it was him. It was him and his stupid little band of knights that seemed hellbent on following you and your crew around the continent to stop you from stealing anything. This would’ve been fine for anybody else, a lowly rogue or a petty assassin. You had a name to uphold, a ship to upkeep, and a crew to feed.

“So, we meet once again,” Neil grins, atop of his steed on the port you were just about to dock.

“How the fuck did you find me Lewis?” you hiss, looking down at him from the deck of your ship.

“Followed my heart,” Neil sighed dramatically, covering his heart with his hand.

“I’ll fucking kill you,” it’s an empty threat, you and Neil have been playing this game for years if either have you wanted you could’ve a long time ago.

“I’d like to see you try,” Neil teases, before turning around a riding away.

You hear a snicker behind you. One of your own men is laughing at you? When you get your hands on that conniving bastard– There’s more than one. Fuck. Your whole crew? You turn around, trying to shoot each member of your crew a hostile look. Like you havent raised and nurtured every single one of them, like you didn’t give them the clothes on their back, and the food on their plates.

“When are you two just going to fuck?” your right-hand man chuckles, walking up and slapping a hand on your shoulder.

What? God, you don’t have time to deal with this.

“Dock the boat, someone! Anyone! Then we try to pillage this town and leave, I don’t care if Lewis is here!” You shout, waving off the hand on your shoulder and walking off.

What does your crew even know about a good old fashioned rivalry? It’s like no one can appreciate when two people just hate eachother any more. Technically you’re a little sexually pent up, it’s hard to get any action as a constantly thwarted pirate, but that doesn’t play much into your relationship with Neil. Nope, not one bit. Just because the knight is attractive doesn’t mean you want to have anything more than a passionate rivalry with him. Sometimes you think of Neil when you get off at night, but everyone feels that way about their rival. Totally…

Before you were able to start questioning yourself on this relationship the ship was docked, and you had to lead your crew into raiding the seaside village you just docked in. You motioned and yelled for everyone to go and get off the ship, the slam of feet landing onto the dock and the running into the town mixed with the slash of swords being grabbed. Soon enough you too were running up the dock, sword in hand. 

You wouldn’t be doing any of the dirty business, merely just watching over your crew and directing your side of the chaos. Neil and his men were waiting out somewhere near, so you had to be alert to where he could be. It’s hard to see anything between the chaos in the town; homes being lit on fire, the clashing of swords with one another and possibly civilians, groans of pain, and you shouting out instructions. Through all of this it would’ve been nearly impossible for the average man to react to the slash of Neil’s blade towards you, but you managed to dodge his attack. Retrieving your own sword and retaliating.

“You’re much sharper than I thought,” Neil teases, offering a cocky smile.

“We’ve fought almost everyday for the past two years, why are you so surprised?” you bite back, aiming for his leg with your next slash. Only to be blocked by Neil’s own sword.

“Thought I did,” Neil ducks down to avoid another slash from you, “more damage last time.”

“You barely scratched me,” you say, it’s cocky despite the fact that Neil is pushing you back onto the dock with his own moves.

“I swore you keeled over,” Neil swings his own sword over his head, which you can barely block with your own force.

Neil starts to falter, allowing you to push back enough so that you and Neil are essentially face to face, breathing each other in. Only thing between you two being the metal of your own swords. Here, when you’re breathing down eachother’s necks, in the midst of battle, is the time when it starts to dawn on you that Neil is probably the only person you know who can fully understand you and your own personal struggles.

“You’re beautiful,” Neil whispers, just loud enough for you to hear. Maybe he never meant for you to hear that at all, you just did.

Those words alone almost make you lose your stance against Neil, but if you fall now you fall back into the depths of the sea. You push back against him, none of you moving from your oddly close positions in front of one another. The cycle continues as you get back onto solid land with Neil, both of you falling to the floor heaving. Neil is so far from you, but he’s always right where you are. Somehow he get every part about you, but he fucking hates you. There’s a part of you that hopes that one day you can fling yourself and Neil to the bottom of the ocean.

Taglist: @paradiseprincesss @luluartpop @xanaxiii @galactict3a

[jack-kellys]

cannot remember if i sent you one sooo

Monster Hunters AU/World War I AU

- @we-are-inevitable ✨

this is the second one u sent but i had like a "funny" thought abt it??

so the time period is wwi. so this is a canon era vibe, but.. without the newsies part lmaoo the gang's like in their early 20s in this let's say.

it's 1919, and the attacks in new york city are the worst they've ever been. (they're bad across the country, but nyc's been hit hard.)

davey's family is stuck in their small apartment, having no choice but to stay since the prices are higher just about anywhere else in the state. the attacks are violent, of course– ravenous, torn flesh, only leaving gory destruction in their wake. but with his family getting closer and closer to being in real danger, davey's been paying closer attention, reading every story he can catch in the other local papers, and the attacks are starting to look strategic. like those things are capable of planning and analyzing.

said things are...hard to classify. he's never seen one, it's rare people do and survive or remember, but the descriptions are never the same. some are large, a decayed color, with no discernible face besides teeth. most are said to have long, sickle-like claws due to the usual nature of attacks. but some are small and run on all four limbs, some have long, mangy manes, or weeds growing out of their veins. they're monstrous, and there doesn't seem to be any other way to put it.

but there's a pattern now, he tells his chief editor (davey's a grammatical editor primarily, not writing the stories quite yet), and how has no one said anything?

until, quite suddenly, the president wages open war against the creatures, finally, though war is a strange thing to call it. but at least davey can do something, and get these things out of his city.

the "funny" part that i was thinking about is like... basically the government puts people into five person individual squadrons based on collaboration of skills and my brain was like "oh like a d&d party"! so davey is assigned into a monster hunting dnd party consisting of uhh lets say. mush, albert, finch, specs.

their second mission after basic training takes them north of the city around sleepy hollow, since plenty of attacks have taken place in vulnerable suburbs. in fact, most of the town had been deserted, most suburban dwellers able to afford housing elsewhere. there's been a consistent group of monsters traced to this area, and they're tasked with taking them out. it's grim, but if it gets these things further than his family, then davey'll do anything.

but it's a battle.

those things are fast, quicker than finch's aim or al's grenades, and davey's commands fall short too. it comes down to close combat, specs shouting out possible exit routes while davey and the rest do their best with knives against claws.

they sink into albert's leg, and finch's side. they scrape specs' face and mush's medical attention can't keep up before he's practically swatted against a tree. davey's arm gets raked, his skin tearing while he stabs the thing the best he can glaring into its deep, night-sky eyes. he gets slammed into the ground, something cracking, hearing albert call out for him before it all fades away.

he's surprised he wakes up, but when he does, he is.. elsewhere.

definitely further into the forest of the town, greenery and tall trunks of trees surrounding them- them, since through barely-opened eyes he can make out his squad. no monsters, though, and his team is bandaged up so mush must have... but mush is unconscious with the rest of them, so who–

"morning, neighbor," is said to him, and davey looks up. a young man is in front of him, accent a bit heavier than his own, but certainly manhattan. davey can barely move–pretty sure he's broken a few ribs–and the man seems to sense this and kneels down. he looks familiar. messy dark hair, deep tan skin with a rosy undertone, and even deeper, night-sky eyes.

davey's own widen. the man grins, and his teeth are a bit mismatched and sharp. now that he has davey's attention, he notices the man has bandages hidden under his shirt from where davey must have stabbed him.

"i'm called jack. i'm gonna tell you a story, but if you don't believe it, i'll have to kill you and your team so you don't squeal. deal?"

not like davey has much choice. "...deal."

soooooo Basically. the "monsters" are government experiments on young humans gone wrong and they are now getting revenge on the country <3. so the war is a front to basically exterminate the government's failure to create what was likely meant to be supersoldiers!!

[lazodiac]

One more we slam face first into the world of Thunder Junction's cards, lets begin part 2 of...

MULTICOLOUR

Malcom, the Eyes! Another secondary member of Oko's Gang, and secret betrayer whose allegiance is owed only to Vraska. Malcom is the wonderfully cool male siren of Ixalan, who sings and spies and knows that gamers do not look up.

His villainy score is 1/10, one lower than Breeche because he's ever so slightly more ranged than the deranged little gobbo.

One of the cards that made a ton of people get weirdly upset! Marchesa is the current Queen of the High City of Paliano, the central massive Italy esque city of the plane of Fiora. She's a dastardly assassin by trade, but truly more of a wordsmith, pulling people into her Black Rose's beautiful and thorny embrace and winning fights before she ever decides to fight them.

The idea that she wouldn't immediatelly capatalize on a new frontier is ludicrous. Is it a little silly she's doing it herself? Maybe. But also no one knows what Fiora fucking is yet and imagine the look on their faces when she reveals she's a Queen and not just some random card-shark with a knife. The surprise will be worth it.

ALSO this bitch fought on the front lines of the Phyrexian war why would she NOT go on vacation to petty crime plane when her entire MO is committing all the petty crimes to combine them into one crime she'd absolutely do this and also SHE IS LITERALLY WEARING HER CROWN ON HER HAT ITS FINE SHE'S ALLOWED TO DO THIS.

... but also girl you need to go back home and help the reconstruction.

Miriam is one of the Freestriders, and has no actual lore. But the artist said she's Selesnyan, and while yes obviously they met the colour I don't care. She's from Ravnica.

Obeka, the incredibly cool time-punching wizard warlock of the plane... Uknown, because she's the only character in this set to both show up more than once AND be from a plane we don't know the name of! For some reason! Godddd!

She shows up in the story featuring Nashi, protecting one of Lilah's vials of powerful magic potion. She punches the time out of Nashi, and then Nashi uses the recordings of her owning him to use her magic but better to beat her. Everyone in this story wins and it owns.

This miserable fucker is Oko. You know him you loathe him. This twink from parts unknown is the leader of Oko's gang... despite the fact that Jace-as-Ashiok is the one who started it by hiring Oko, you fucking fraudster.

Tragically, despite Vraska blasting him with her petri-beam, Oko copies the druid from that one DND movie and shapechanged into a snake to avoid being killed by the stone wrapping up around him. I hate this.

Despite failing in every capacity, and all parties getting no reward for their effort, he successfully bluff checks his way through the rest of the gang killing him- though Kaervek makes it very clear that if he doesn't get his pound of flesh from Ashiok (Oko doesn't mention it's actually Jace, the buffoon) he'll take it from Oko. Eriette also maybe kills him.

Villainy level 15/10. Evil fucking monster. Literally the worst.

From skeleton to hellspur and back again, no matter which way you read this card it's from Thunder Junction.

The lord of riots is here to PARTY! Thunder Junction, because it is a Joins Up card.

RAKDOS! Cult leader and namer, the last parun of Ravnica to still exist unmolested and unaltered. A perfect and true patron of the arts if there ever was one. With Judith seemingly gone, he's woken up to his best performer- and the woman literally making him so eepy- gone, but with an offer to join Oko's Gang, on a plane where he can smash to his heart's content.

Story wise he mostly just causes distractions by fighting folk, and duels Akul to the death- and the scorpion feigns defeat to get out of it, the coward. That's what you get for dealing with this behemoth of might and magic.

Villainy score is 10000/10. While Rakdos is a legitimately very fun character, if it weren't for the laws of Ravnica his literal very existence would inspire everyone around him to start murdering people unconditionally.

I'd still be friends with him over Oko though.

Riku! What a deep cut! Riku is a mage from of all places Shandalar, torn between a love of setting things on fire and setting beasts on others. He found an ancient magic that let himself split into two people, and so he learned both. Together they are one of the plane's strongest wizards- which is impressive, given he gets access to Alchemy cards as a result of obscure metaphysical references I'm making.

I wonder where his other half is...

Roxanne is very clearly a Leonin from New Capenna, and she is having the time of her life. This is one of my favorite cards in terms of art, she's so happy to see this shiny glowing rock! You will be too... less so your enemies 2 toughness creatures.

I wonder if this meteorite has cosmium in it...

I've expressed this before but if you couldn't tell; the Sterling Company are the bad guys!

Given her aesthetic, especially the hat, this bitch is from Ixalan.

Satoru the Infiltrator, claimant to the name of Umezawa, the dragon slaying family. Leader of the Reckoners, a powerful Yakuza boss of extreme importance and power on Kamigawa. A secondary member of Oko's gang, and the one with the second-least amount of screen time, Eriette being the least focused on.

Does he make good use of this time? Well, his role is lockpicker, using his plane's tech to crack any lock. We see him get the Key fragment from Bertram's personal safe, and did in fact figure out where the safe was, so that's good. His second lock though... he gets shot in the middle of failing to unlock it, and spends the rest of that story unconscious. He then proceeds to do nothing for the rest of the story, bickering occasionally with Kaervek- it's very clear from their interactions that Satoru is why they got arrested in the first place.

So, no. Satoru comes off like a fucking chump here and it owns. Villainy rating of 3/10, he barely registers. Stick to lying about your heritage you fucko.

Selvala is one of the only good aligned characters from Fiora, an explorer of great renown. Of course she'd show up here, villain or not! And hey maybe that's part of why Marchesa is here and- no not getting into the rant again.

Beautiful piece of art, this. It's a native unicorn, one of those uniquely powerful animals that I adore.

Wish it had a lion's tail though...

This is a signature card of Stella Lee, a woman we'll see later, so this is from the Atiin plane.

Also the little neck-ribbon here makes her look like Sailor Moon.

Taii Wakeen is an Atiin sharp-shooter, and I wish she'd shown up in the story at all. She looks like she kicks ass.

I didn't mention it on Annie's card, but Annie's Atiin name shows up in the story. Her true name is Haseya. Taii here is the only Atiin who goes but an Atiin name.

Vial Smasher! Everyone's favorite goblin from Tarkir, saved from obscurity (and having only a non-legendary card to her name) by the unambigiously heroic in his own eyes actions of Sarkhan Vol! She's here to show us what a REAL explosionist goblin can do without petty things like "morals" and "a captain who pets your head sometimes".

The flavor text implies she didn't like, show up here on purpose, which is funny.

Vraska's join up card. I like her little guy she's using as a counter.

Vraska. The multiverse's greatest assassin, other than Kaya who could probably take her Kaya literally killed a god. Every queer MTG player's favorite character if they're smart and full of The Longing. Vraska, a character everyone hated to see return because she dared to have legs.

There's a lot of controversy about this Ravnican girl, namely that her scars from compleation don't show up as much as they should (they do, the glowing green lines are part of it, as are her neck scales, and also her entire facial structure has been adjusted, and her hair is a bit fucked up, etc etc). But the epilogue stories fixed that by showing just how physically and mentally the compleation process, and the healing from that, left her and Jace scarred.

A primary member of Oko's gang, on paper anyway. She and Jace are secretly the real leaders and planning on betraying everyone, a plan that goes off perfectly. Villainy rating 5/10, I don't think her and Jace's plan is evil but it definitely has the vibes.

Everything about this card screams to me "one of those geist-honoured folk from Innistrad". She's just adapting to the local flavor.

Wylie Duke is the last multicolour card in the set proper, and he's definitely a card in the set. He's from the Atiin people, obviously, and that's really all we know other than that he's unambigiously a good guy- like all the Atiin are.

Gonti, the Aetherborn crime boss that shows us what a REAL criminal mastermind can do. Sorry Satoru, you'll never hold a candle to this themboss. Gonti is one of the few cards that gets lore, since they're part of the meager scraps of a "legend article" that only talkes about the main crew of Oko's gang and the Commander face-cards.

The long and short of it is that they're doing, historically, what was actually done ot the old west by the various train companies and such. Nice (derogatory).

And that's all the space we have for part 2... so onto part 3!

ONCE MORE, we delve into the plane of Thunder Junction, in our attempt to figuring out what each plane each card is from.

Last time we finished all the monocolour cards, and you can find all of those here. I'll also been including a villainy score for Oko's gang, to see how much they count as villains... and in retrospect wish I'd done that for all the legends, since this is a VILLAIN set. Call that a project for another day...

For now though, let us enter into the wild, wild world of...

MULTICOLOUR

We open off with a big one- Akul the Unrepentant! The main antagonist of the story, a PERFECT black-hat western villain- he is fierce and evil and SMART but also you can bait him with the right words and at the end of the day he's just a right bastard with a gun. An honestly pitch-perfect villain for a villain set.

The way his scorpion mandibles make a cowboy hat silhouette, his gun-stinger tail and his fire breathing claws, he is a perfect example of what a Scorpion Dragon is and how strongly it fits the aesthetic of the plane.

But we've been told all the Scorpion Dragons are from Gastal, an obscure plane from Urza's Planeswalker novel, so they're from Gastal. I hope we go there one day and learn what that plane is like beyond its very sparse appearance elsewhere.

Annie Flash! Our first member of Oko's gang to rob Akul! She's Atiin so from the Atiin Plane, and is the only Atiin that shows up in story. We learn from her stories that her people are still out there wandering, while some settled in Thunder Junction.

Among them her nephew, who Akul afflicted with tuberculosis with his stinger (it's some kind of dark curse but given how it is described it's absolutely TB, a fitting disease for the time period). He left to join his people, because staying in bed all day half asleep from medicine is worse than suffering while awake.

At any rate, she's retired to protect the town she's ended up in... and is threatened by Oko into helping take down Akul. On the villainy scale she is a fierce 0/10. I wish she'd just shot Oko in the head.

Annie Joins Up is one of a cycle- all of the major members of Oko's gaing gets little pieces like this. They're clearly part of one singular mural but we haven't been shown it and it makes me sad.

Given the context, I'm counting these cards as Thunder Junction original.

A strange, fascinating card, it's a sherrif's sterling silver star, radiating various creature spirits out of it. Given the form of magic at play I'm gonna say this is from Alara, since it resembles the Nacatl totem magic.

Hellspur Mercenaries holding, unfortunately, YOU at knifepoint. Good luck friend cause I'm out of here.

... okay I'll stay long enough to say it again; Hellspurs threw away all ties to their home planes to become dyed in the wool magma mutants. They're from Thunder Junction now. The predominance of glowing purple and dyed hair could imply these individuals are from Kylem, but I'm sticking to my thunder-guns here.

This is the only real indication that the cactus folk are "new" to the plane, despite having lived here for generations as non-sentient cacti. I don't really like this, but whatever. Native to Thunder Junction.

The Sterling Company's shiny leader, in the vampiric flesh. Given his style he's definitely from New Capenna. He doesn't show up in the story at all, but his presence is felt by the colonizing cops that he employs.

Big ol' Bonny Pall is our distaff counterpart to Paul Bunyan, the American lumberjack of old west mythology. She's even got a massive blue ox to help her out!

She's one of the giants from Eldraine, and if I could remember where I saw blue oxen on that plane I'd tell you to confirm it.

Everyone's favorite goblin-monkey, Breeches! A secondary member of Oko's gang, though in truth his loyalties lie with his captain, Vraska. His main goal in the story is blowing things up- as is his want- and showing us that he has more self control than Gisa does.

As far as villainy goes he's a soft 2/10. Nothing he does is inherently evil, the pirates of Ixalan (his home plane) are categorically the nicest faction present there, and ultimately he's only with Oko to help Vraska betray him.

Bruse Tarl! There's absolutely no reason he should be here in the villain set, but also he's a cattle rancher who is a fan favorite on a plane where ox and cattle are well known an aesthetic so of course he's here from Zendikar, having finally found some beasties that listen to him.

Fun fact; the four visible livestock on the card include Pillarfield Ox, Ox of Agonas, Vigor, and Bartered Cow. These cards won't add to the total, but are here and that's cool.

Also fun fact: according to the card crafting stories, this card was originally Strongarm from Lorwyn/Shadowmoor! Neat!

A cactus with a gun! Native to the plane, and my friend.

Gryff's are the wonderfully unique heron-hippogryffs of Innistrad, so this beautiful bird-beast is from there.

Who????? Who are you???? You have human hands but are otherwise completely just a bear man??? The only plane where ANYTHING like this even remotely exists is fucking Blobavia, in the Un-iverse? Who are you??? Why is there no legend article for this fucking set?!?!?

I have no fucking clue where this guy could be from, but the flavor text leans me towards Arcavios. This is some random bear druid man from Quandrix House.

Eriette, the Beguiler! She's one of the secondary members of Oko's gang, despite being ostensibly the first one recruited (or at least the first recruited on screen, by Jace-as-Ashiok). She is of course from Eldraine, and even has beef with Kellan, the newest member of the gang.

Beef that she puts aside! For the mission! Because her evil plan on Eldraine was "I will treat PTSD from the invasion by offering the chance to go to sleep forever, and will coincidentally get to rule the plane" which is like, not even THAT evil? It's misguided and kinda fucked up but not like, EVIL evil? And despite anger at seeing the DIRECT guy responsible for her defeat, she still buries the hatchet. This is like, a 1/10 on the evil scale.

Also there is the slightest, slightest implication she might have poisoned Oko at the end of the story. If she did she gets a "Nahiri did nothing wrong" modifier.

This delightfully cheery grandma is from Zendikar, and is doing what she does best: climbing stuff! She's a new character as far as I can tell so we know nothing about her otherwise, but she's survived the Eldrazi and the Phyrexians and is still smiling so she's okay in my book.

Notably, she does get some fun flavor text on other cards.

The flavor text feels at odds with the vibe of what formring a posse would be- normally this sort of gearing up of the locals would be to fight AGAINST the Sterlings coming in and taking the entire plane, but I digress.

The specific sort of decorations of the town and the people involved feel Atiin to me, but I think I've gotta give this to Thunder Junction proper.

Ghired is a fascinating character to me, because he's shown up before and despite doing so still has no real character and has not contributed to any of the stories he's in. Which is a shame because he's one of the best concepts they've ever come up with, from the best plane they've ever made; he's someone on Ravnica who left one Guild to join another!

This Selesnyan shaman turned to the Gruul Clans after witnessing Illharg, the biggest of the big pigs, rise from the primal earth of the plane! Despite joining the Gruul he still has a Selesnyan connection to wildlife, and on a fully untamed plane like Thunder Junction he is THRIVING. It's so cool! He should do stuff!

It's time for a controversial legendary! It's the Gitrog monster, freshly done being Thalia's steed during the Phyrexian Invasion. He's bullfrogged his way tot Thunder Junction, and now people want to turn this one cult inspiring hypnotoad into just another wild and wacky horse to ride.

I get it. I get why people find this to be a discrediting of the Gitrog from fearsome monster to funny creature, but it honestly works? Innistrad is a plane of horrors, and what happens to horror media when it recurs? It reduces, with each iteration. The best horror film franchises start and end at one, maybe two if you're lucky, and it only takes a complete and total revitalization and reimagining to fix it.

For now, Gitrog is a funny horse, but maybe one day he'll be the monster you remember from your nightmares.

A scam artist and swindler from Innistrad, Old Honest Rutstein is a surprising pull for the plane... and yet works perfectly, as snake-oil salesmen fit the old west aesthetic perfectly. Has many a fun flavor text in the set, and notably is NOT a hellspur. He's just got some fun glowy corn husks to play with.

Was the first card from the set teased as preview art before this story arc began.

The name is a reference to Misinformation Campaign, one of the best cards from Guilds of Ravnica, but mechanically it really is more like Dovin Baan's stupid planning and plotting card.

With that in mind, and given the... strange art, I'm saying this is from Ravnica.

Jem Lightfoote, with an e, is one of the Atiin, as her flavor text implies. This is all we know about her, other than her being delightful and probably fun at parties.

Jolene Jolene, please don't go punching my man into space. This... hilarious card showcases New Capenna's premiere boxing tough knocking a guy directly out of his boots, while her horrifically photo-realistic snorse niss's menacingly behind her.

Fun fact: her magical gauntlets, which she still has and you can tell because you can see them around her fists, lets her literally punch money out of people! Every hit knocks some gold out of them, made from their blood and life.

This is directly referencing a magical item from some actual play DND podcast that I'm blanking on the name of. Maybe The Adventure Zone?

Kambal, once the Consul of Allocation of Ghirapur, in Kaladesh, was ousted from his position following the revolution, replaced with Pia, Chanra's mother. Despite losing all of his actual political power, his underworld connections didn't consume him for failure, and he survived past the Phyrexian Invasion to go on to becoming the corrupt mayor of Prosperity.

The art of him makes it look like he, as the kids these day say, is "serving cunt" and I kinda adore it.

Kellan's join up card. Thunder Junction.

And here is Kellan proper! The erstwhile hero of the "omenpath" saga of magic story, this is the first time since Eldraine that he's actually mattered in any real capacity! Here, he finally manifests the last of his birthright, the fae magics of Oko's plane, but in his heart he's still the little shepherd boy from Eldraine.

Kellan's story honestly concludes so well that I'll forgive the somewhat lackluster middle portion. He's a sweet and innocent and perfect soul. 0/10 villainy score.

Kraum is Ludevic's Opus, his perfect creation, the pinnacle of his mad stitching science. He's like two dudes connected together who can fly through electromagnetic powers. Mad scientists are silly.

I adore that Ludevic cares this much about his apprentice though. Kraum never shows up in story, which is probably for the best, but it's really funny to imagine every scene Geralf is in just has a two headed lightning crackling Frankenstein just, off in the distance watching him.

Jaspar Flint is, apparently, a Hellspur, which I can kinda see from the mutations on his hands and chest, so I suppose he's from Thunder Junction. But also there's no Viashino out there that look like desert lizards, so I do wonder where he's from... my best guess is actually Gastal, for some reason.

Lazav, successfully convincing everyone on Ravnica of his death in defense of the plane, has decided to go solo mode. So much for him and Tezzeret's plane to take over Ravnica- not that that'd ever come to fruit given it's from a book everyone hates.

I really love the art for this card.

Lilah is the leader of the Slickshots, and notably while she doesn't show up in the story proper, the secret to her and her gangs success does; a magical tincture only she can make, that empowers her and her allies with a little extra oomph to their magic.

The best way to identify a Slickshot is through their magic, and thte specific green magic she's launching out of a strange, heart-shaped bottle, suggests to me that she's actually a witch from Eldraine.

The flavor text, plus the make and model of the thunder-gun on our would-be gunfighter's side, suggests this is Atiin to me.

And that's a total of thirty! So lets take a quick break and go to part 2 momentarily!

[corrodedhawkins]

PervEddie you say? How about some Tom foolery under the table while the gang is out to eat er something

Warnings: Perv!Eddie, swearing, teasing, fingering, public sex

“Eddie”, you hiss.

He looks at you with innocent eyes. “What?”, he asks, tone teasing.

You’re pressed snuggly up against Eddie’s side, sitting opposite Steve and Robin in the back booth.

He has one arm slung loosely around your waist, fingers slipping under the hem of your shirt to caress your bare skin. His nails scratch lightly up and down your side, and you can’t help but shiver.

Maybe agreeing to grab dinner with everyone, or more importantly Eddie, had been a mistake.

Robin is rambling about her first date Vicky tomorrow night, but you’re not paying attention.

Eddie moves his hand down your side to your hip, squeezing as he pulls you closer.

You try to squirm out of his grasp, but it’s no use. His ringed fingers grip your plush hip, rough and unmoving.

“You’re being so gross stop”, whisper.

“You know you love it”, he shoots back, eyes fixed on Robin like he’s engrossed in the conversation.

The thing is, he wasn’t wrong. You did love it. All of the teasing banter and glances and touches from Eddie made you weak, as much as you hated to admit it.

“Fuck you”, you mutter. His hand on your hip moves down, palm now cupping the curve of your ass.

Eddie hums thoughtfully, “You wish.”

You gasp as you feel his palm knead your cheek, sputtering as you almost choke on your drink. His hand moves under the hem of your skirt, cool rings like ice against your heated skin.

Eddie shifts against you, other hand snaking it’s way up your thigh and under your skirt. Your eyes flutter shut as he traces your slit with his fingertips over your panties.

You know he can feel how wet and warm you are, all for him. He rubs his fingers back and forth over your slit, stopping at your clit to rub slow circles around the nub.

“Are you listening?”, Robbin asks, as she narrows her eyes at you, clearly annoyed.

Your eyes snap open. “Yes! You-you we’re talking about Vicky.”

Steve and Robin share a sideways glance. “Are you okay? We moved on to talking about Eddie’s new DND campaign a while ago”, Steve shoots you a funny look.

“Oh, r-right.” You feel Eddie push your panties to the side, fingers finally grazing your wet heat.

“You gotta keep up, babe”, Robin says as she stuffs a fry in her mouth.

“Yeah, babe. Gotta keep up”, Eddie says smugly, fingers never ceasing their circles against your clit.

You hate him. You hate him so much right my now, the smug bastard.

When you shoot him a glare, he smirks and pinches your clit, earning a yelp as you buck your hips.

“You ok?”, Robin’s voice is laced with concern.

“Yeah”, you feel Eddie pinch your clit again. “I mean, no! No. I’m not okay.”, you stutter.

“Was it the pizza?”, Eddie prompts as his fingers leave your clit to sink two into your hole, crooking them just right.”

You whimper, hand shooting out to grip the sleeve of his leather jacket.

“Mmhm. The pizza, too much cheese.” You feel Eddie’s hands slip from your skin as he slides out of the booth.

“I-uh. I’ll be back”, you mumble as you slide out of the booth past Eddie, face flaming. You can’t meet his gaze.

˚✧

You throw the door to the bathroom open, hands gripping the edge of the counter as you try to steady yourself.

A knock on the door startles you. “Can I come in?”, you hear Eddie ask from the other side of the door.

You open the door for him, and he immediately backs you into the room, slamming the door shut behind him as he clicks the lock.

Eddie hoists you up onto the counter, crowding into the space between your spread thighs.

“You’re such a fucking slut”, he says as he eases your panties down your legs, sucking open mouthed kisses into the inside of your knee. You can’t help but laugh as you watch him tuck them into his back pocket for later.

“Me?”, you gasp as his fingers sink back into you, thumb settling against your clit.

Eddie chuckles. “Yeah, you. You’re so fucking wet for me.” He pumps his fingers in and out harshly. “Can fucking hear how wet your are for me.”

You feel your cheeks heat as you listen to the wet sounds of your juices leaking around his fingers.

You’re practically riding his hand, bouncing yourself down on his fingers as your clit grinds into his palm.

“You call me a perv, but look at you sweetheart”, he groans. “Fucking yourself on my fingers like a good little whore.”

He turns his wrist, fingers twisting inside of you. You cry out as he keeps talking.

“Dripping for me as I touch you at dinner with your friends? Now that’s perverted”, he whispers harshly.

Eddie leans in close, lips grazing your ear as he speaks. “You close, princess?”

You nod and whimper, grabbing onto his shirt, balling the fabric into your fist.

Your head tips back in pleasure, banging against the mirror.

Eddie hisses as his hand comes up to cup the back of your head, shielding it from connecting with the mirror again.

Legs starting to shake, you’re moaning high and needy, lip bitten between your teeth to try to stifle the sounds.

“C’mon, baby. Cum for me”, Eddie pulls you into a searing kiss that sends you over the edge.

He pulls back to whisper into the crook of your neck. “There we go”, he coos, fucking you through the waves of pleasure.

You’re panting, your whole body shaking as you come down.

Once Eddie is confident you won’t fall over, he eases you down from the counter slowly. His hands hover over your hips in case you wobble.

You stand up straight and smooth your hands over your skirt. “Can I have my panties back?”, you ask as you hold out your hand.

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t think so. These are mine now, I earned them.” He shoots you a wink before exiting the bathroom.

˚✧

Steve and Robin sit at the table, fidgeting as they wait for you both to return. After a few moments, Steve speaks. “They’re totally fucking in there, right?”

Robin snorts, “duh.”

Tag list:

@ghastlyentity @sweetpeapod

@e0509 @stardustmunson

@simpingoverfictionalppl @quinnswife86

@munsonquinns @thorfemmes

@khaleesibubblegum @manddoublee

Perv!Eddie whore tag: @escapinghawkins @bayouteche

[user4207292926282]

growth spurt

summary: teenage boy vs boobs

mike wheeler x fem!reader

part 2

mike, lucas, dustin, and the rest of the hellfire gang sat in mike’s basement the dnd game all set up and ready, waiting for you to arrive. they had made some sort of something up for your character so you could join back at anytime. something about freezing ur brain? it was very confusing and you gave up about halfway thru eddie trying to explain it. mike was seated next to eddie, deep in conversation about what they think you look like now.

‘bro she probably looks the exact same.’

‘there is no way kid. a girl like her goes to a summer camp? she’s gonna be a whole new woman when she comes back.’ eddie stares knowingly at mike, leaned back and legs spread.

‘she won’t be that different. i mean her hair will be a little longer, but in the four years i’ve known y/n she has not changed one bit.’ mike replied, knowing you literally have been wearing the same graphic t-shirts since the 6th grade.

‘cmon mike-’ eddie’s rebuttal was interrupted by loud shuffling upstairs and a loud door slam. all the conversation stopped as the party listened to you talk to mrs. wheeler and try to escape her attempts at small talk. finally after a few minutes of a painful interrogation from mike’s mom you made it to the basement. you crept down the stairs, slightly concerned at the lack of conversation. but then you finally made it to the bottom of the stairs. and boy was mike wrong.

the hellfire shirt you got at the start of summer barely fit you now, your bust stretching the logo quite a bit, you had also cut the shirt to show just a sliver of your abdomen,and the shorts you wore did nothing to conceal your long legs. but the part that really got mike was your hair, what had once gone past your hips, was now just below your ears, with bangs. mike had never seen you with bangs. mike just stared as he felt cupid’s arrow shoot him straight thru the heart.

he didn’t know how long he’d been staring until he felt eddie’s hand clap on his back and push him towards you. he stumbled forward and ran into a hug with you. he felt your hands tense in shock, but then slide around his waist and pull hum farther into you. he immediately followed your action and pulled your head just under his. pulling away, he looked into your eyes, scared if he stayed there any longer he’d never be able to let go. his hands fell to your upper arms as he stared.

‘what?’ you asked. confused as to why he was glaring as you so intensely.

‘ you cut your hair.’ he mumbled quietly under his breath. his hand reaching out and softly touching the peice closest to your face.

‘yeah. yeah i did.’ you said as you laughed. turning out of his grasp to walk to greet everyone else and finally catch up. but all mike could think about was how you hair moved as you talked. and your bare thigh kept brushing against his. and how it felt when you would giggle when he said something funny. but his favorite was how good it felt to have you in his arms.

you were the last to leave, pecking him on the cheek before running out to get your bike from his yard and start the journey home.

he quickly ran up to his room, careful to hide his hard-on from his mother cooking in the kitchen. he couldn’t even handle seeing you for four hours today, how is he gonna handle seeing you every single day at school?

a/n it’s literally 1am. i read this over once. i don’t love it. but i have 2 start somewhere ig. pls lemme know if u see any spelling mistakes (or just writing mistakes in general), even tho i will not fix them. this is my first fanfic. hope u like it baes. feel free to send in a request. i have 0 ideas rn. happy reading.

LEMME KNOW IF U WANNA PART TWO :DDDDDD

part two coming ?soon?

[quits-writing]

stranger things x older brother figure! rich! reader

a/n: to celebrate stranger things s4 vol 2 coming out today in a few hours, i’ve decided to give us all masc aligned people a treat before shit goes down, enjoy.

cw: contains some scenes from the series (not enough to spoil), mentioned homophobia & fragile masculinity, bullying scenario, messy cuz i just put whatever random shit pops up to my mind and im also writing this at 1:30 am, NOT PROOFREAD!!

depending on your personality, it’s either the group would see you as the “cool” brother like in the movies or the “annoying” brother in real life

as kids, you’d have to defend them against bullies, seniority scares majority of the kids.

but if they don’t want you to interfere, they’d just ask you on how to defend theirselves

tell them some witty comebacks

yeah i don’t think they can do it without it leading into a physical fight so you’d have to watch their back before it becomes one

spoil them! buy them action figures, comics, new set of dnd miniatures. they’d worship you…for 5 mins before hyper-focusing on that same item you bought for them

you’d be such a big help to joyce and jonathan if you decide to fund and help them with the will situation in s1

jonathan actually talked to you, also joyce’ll treat you as her other son

imagine having a platonic relationship with max, your relationship is the relationship she wishes she has with billy

billy would probably spite you for it (he’s jealous and doesn’t want to admit it lol)

oh, and the group would probably jokingly make you compete with steve for the “best mom older brother” award (dustin would also make eddie compete too if you’ve met each other already)

somehow, they’ll find a way to turn your words against you

okay. imagine s3, the vent scene with erica

m/n: alright. how much do you want, kid? hundred? thousand? a million bucks?

robin: you’re gonna offer, a child, a million? do you even have a million on-hand?

m/n, a rich teen: uh yeah??? 🧍

robin: okay, what the actual fu–!

if you’re part of the LGBTQIA+, and openly into men or in touch with your femininity. mike’s dad would try and tell mike to not be associated with you again (sorry but he reeks of homophobia and fragile masculinity)

remember that one scene in s4 (ep 5, 1:00:52) where he’s so salty at dustin and the gang for hanging out in their house? that but insert m/n there

mr. wheeler: –why not? take us for all we’re worth

dustin: oka–

*slam*

m/n: if you care so much about your money, then here’s a fucking stack. thank you so much for your hospitality”

mr. wheeler: *is baffled by the amount of cash a teen could have* how’d you get this money??

m/n: oh i’m actually am a stripper and i have a sugar daddy– of course, i worked for it, obviously. i have a job.

dustin: *whispering* holy fucking shit, you’re so cool

if you have “old rich” money than “hard earned” money, it’s the same thing but probably less “cooler” in their eyes

if not all of them, at least one would keep bugging you on what job you have to earn a lot of money

some would say, they’re still bugging what you do for a living ‘til today

[veryblushyswitch]

Dustin H ~ (tickle hcs) 🐢

*————————————————————————*

Lee:

*First of all- one of the greatest, smartest, funniest characters no debate. That isn’t to say other characters aren’t those traits I just love him a lot.

*He’s so adorable look at him!!! 🥺💖

*His laugh is pure happiness mixed with high pitched giggles. I could honestly listen to it for hours.

*Definitely gets tickled a lot by Steve and Lucas.

*Also you cannot tell me Suzie and Dustin didn’t have tickle fights at camp. She found out he was ticklish and has never let him live it down.

*When Steve first learned Dustin was ticklish, it was season 2 when Dustin couldn’t really go to anyone else and he was kind of on his own.

*He felt down so Steve was comforting him and Steve nudged his side resulting in a yelp from Dustin.

*This led to a one sided tickle fight which ended in a long hug. Steve would never verbally admit to anyone how affectionate he is with his kids, but he never tries to hide it.

*Lucas tickles him because they’ve always had a close bond and he mostly uses it against Dustin to get his way. In a playful way of course.

*There have been many DND games that have to do with tickle monsters which end in someone getting tickled if they lose. Dustin and Will are the main targets.

*I don’t know why but I feel like he’d have a really ticklish stomach and sides.

*Dustin also has really ticklish underarms and he’ll slam his arms to his sides whenever someone tickles him there. He won’t lift them until the person tickling him takes their hands away or someone physically pins his arms.

*Susceptible to air tickles but only by a few people. Steve, Susie, Lucas, and Will. Eventually Eddie because they get closer and Eddie finds out he’s ticklish.

*It only really works with those he’s close too and those who tend to tickle him a lot.

*Referring back to the stomach and sides, he lets out the happiest laughter when tickled there. You can tell how much fun he’s having and his eyes get all squinty when he’s laughing- 😭💖 I love him.

*Mike let it slip to Eddie during a Hellfire club meeting that Dustin is ticklish and welp. RIP Dustin.

*Eddie is a ruthless yet sweet ler, especially to his adopted freshman, and Dustin finds himself getting random pokes and tickles from Eddie almost every time they see each other.

*Pokes to his sides make him yelp and pokes to his stomach make him fold over in giggles.

~

Ler:

*Such a playful ler.

*Loves tickle fights and making his friends laugh. 💖

*Has gotten Steve back a couple times on his own, which got him wrecked afterwards. But he’s been able to get Steve back tenfold with the help of the other kids and/or Robin and Eddie.

*He also got exclusive info about his secret tickle spots from Nancy.

*Dustin + Steve = Playful Ler Duo

*Dustin + Eddie = Ruthless Ler Duo (mostly to Steve)

*Dustin will sneak knee squeezes to Steve to watch him jump. Of course Dustin can only get away with that when they’re in public.

*His main targets are Steve, Will, Lucas, Susie when they can see each other in person, and has occasionally tried to poke at Max when they’re all being playful.

*Mike and El tickle each other enough to where now Dustin feels he’d be crossing a boundary if he did it now. He used to tickle Mike a bit when they were younger but not so much now. Same with El when she first joined the gang and was getting used to physical contact.

*He says that Susie’s laugh is the best sound to ever exist. ✨ When they’re on the phone or talking over the large radio, Dustin will tease Susie by telling her how much he misses tickling her and seeing her laugh. Also how he’s gonna tickle her the next time they see each other.

*Then Susie teases him back and he gets all flustered and lee mood hits. Poor Dusty Bun.

*Dustin likes to let whoever he’s tickling move around instead of pinning them. In my opinion he’s a 50/50 switch so the chance of them retaliating is always fun for him.

*Pinning someone down is usually done when he’s tickling Steve with Eddie and Robin or there’s a group tickle fight. Some of the kids need to be held down or they’ll kick and punch.

*Overall, such a sweetheart and just wants to have fun and laugh with his friends and girlfriend. Loves being tickled by those he trusts and are closest too and adores being able to bring happiness to those around him with a few tickles.

~

Gosh I love that kid so much 😭💖💖💖 Same goes for Gaten as a person he’s so nice and funny and all around such an amazing person! Thanks for reading!

[potato-jem]

i just realised that i still have my notes from watching the mortal instruments movie for the first time in my notes app, because i wanted to share my thoughts with my best friend. 

so naturally, i’m going to put it on the internet. 

LILY COLLINS OMG

‘it’s my birthday, i wanna go to a club,’ don’t, you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into

oh hello jocelyn *tucks hair behind ear*

luke looks too old and too young at the same time

ok clary is a better friend than me, i would never attend a poetry reading

simon you couldn’t be more obvious if you tried

how did she do that in her coffee without looking

why does she want to get in a club just because it has a mysterious symbol on it

AYO ISABELLE??!!!

clary dearest, when we see mysterious people stab someone, we do not scream

jace looks like he’s sucked on a lemon (actually low-key what i thought tom riddle should look like)

clary you literally did this, why are you surprised about the symbols hanging up in your room

jace, when we like a girl, we do not show up at coffee shops in some thing that looks like an eBay cosplay knockoff 

HOLD THE PHONE, JACE IS BRITISH?

jocelyn is so hot

why is jace standing like that

girlboss gatekeep gaslight

is the dog meant to be the lizard thing

okay why did jace kill it, clary needed her girl boss moment

‘okay, i did just save your life’ i may have giggled

why does jace immediately know it’s the cup

i don’t remember anything she’d want me to forget

of course simon makes a dnd reference

sorry, i cannot take the humping leg guy seriously, like his haircut, his accent

jace said acab

clary, girl. don’t just ask men to strip for you, especially himbos like jace

alec looks WAY too old

isabelle looks too dorky

BAHAHAHA HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THE SILENT BROTHERS SERIOUSLY

not jace and my granddad saying the same thing at the cemetery 

WHERE IS THE THING WHERE JACE PULLS HER HAIR OUT, THAT WAS TOO CUTE NOT TO INCLUDE

oh there it is

they don’t have guns in the book ffs

alec is such a piss baby in this

when did this turn into fifty shades of grey

the gang of vampires looks like a scene out of a horror video game

fight scene to techno? a vibe?

TWILIGHT 2.0

nvm, jace is also a piss baby

‘my one true love is myself’ ‘at least you don’t have to worry about rejection’ ‘i turn myself down once in a while to keep it interesting’

the garden looks familiar 

jace stop being emo

ew 

why are they dry all of a sudden

‘why didn’t you say you had him in your bed? we wouldn’t all fit’ stop being petty jace

why does it take a minute for jace to take off all his weapons

i think you need your door fixed

um where’s simon’s archery skills

clary, hug jace too

fuck you hodge

why does valentine look like a pirate

THE WAY THE WOLF TOOK OUT THE KID HAHAHAHAH

how did luke get dressed that quickly

me @ children

has if hodge spoils the whole jace x clary plot line

i love how magnus only raises his hood a little: a warlock? *lifts hood slightly* MAGNUS THE WARLOCK?

‘can you see it?’ *looks up at burning orange beacon of light* ‘idk maybe’

tf why is jocelyn floating like that

okay why did you crave it on your hand

YES CLARY KILL HIM

valentine doesn’t deserve rights

isabelle looks like a ghostbuster with a flamethrower

this sounds like a male tennis match

SPARRING

question, how did valentine do the pentagram with spears

sorry for laughing, but asking someone if they like to play music before slamming their face into a piano…

YUH KICK HIS ASS CLARY

snow in da library, let’s go

clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere

some matilda type shit

not jace using pick up lines when he thinks clary’s his sister *cue sweet home alabama*

why isn’t the motorcycle flying

[ace-artemis-fanartist]

My work friends finally roped me into playing dnd. This is my first original character and I’m excited to go adventuring with her and the gang. There is probably going to be more art of her in the future.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Slamming daemon punching bag

Sooo me and the lads were planning on robbing a train to gain the attention of a higher up mob boss we we can kill him and gain his goods and bring him to justice but not really! Our bright idea was to surround the train!! We had a horse back rider at both sides of the train and 4 in the back 1 in the middle and me in front! I was playing a tiefling and I remembered I had fire resistance!! Me being stupid and the first time me playing dnd for the first time said

“Hey! Catch me on fire and I’ll make sure no one runs by and stops the train! And I can corral them to the back!”

Our DM thought “well this can’t back fire at all!”

Next thing we know we’re robbing the train and before I’m lit on fire our human lights a cigar and throws it at me, setting me ablaze! (Kinda like in those old movies where they throw a cigarette into oil to kill a person in a car and walk away slowly)

I was told roll for damage and then it all clicked...I’m fire resistant not fire retardant....I was dumb founded

I panic and run through the train, killing many and corralling many backwards.

As I’m making a fool of myself the rest of the gang is getting their asses handed to them by a gang we got into woth earlier in game (the were undertail characters) I run up to the human who had set me on fire and proceeded to pass out...still on fire...he then proceeded to pick me up and use me as a weapon to fight the big strong fish lady!

Long story short I survived with one bit of health left and it was the best time I ever had.

[hiccanna-tidbits]

The RotBTD+ Gang Plays DnD! (Feat. my ships, sorry not sorry XD)

So highkey I’ve actually been wanting to do a “The Gang Plays DnD” type post for AGES now, but then I saw @hobie-brown and @ohlooksheswriting-wips do DnD AU posts for RotBTD, and then I was like “Ah shit, I really should finish mine, eh?” So thank you to both of you for inspiring me to get off my ass and actually write the post!!!

Hiccup DMs. He comes up with this super complex plot revolving around dragons (because of course) where the party has to dismantle this society ruled by evil knights who want to genocide all of the dragons. Imagine his chagrin when the party wants to do nothing but fuck around in towns and aggravate NPCs 90% of the time.

They usually end up playing at Jack’s apartment, mainly because Hiccup’s dad doesn’t really want a bunch of loud nerds yelling about 20-sided dice in his household while he’s trying to work, if he can at all help it. Jack’s sister regularly barges into their living room and roasts the fuck out of Jack and his friends for being such damn nerds and eats all of their DnD snacks they’ve set out. If they’re in the middle of a combat session, she always gleefully proclaims that they’re all going to die. While Jack is annoyed by this, the rest of the party finds it deeply hilarious.

Jack Overland plays the absolute mayhem warlock Jack Frost, who got his powers through making a deal with the archfey Prince of Frost and has absolutely no qualms about being an evil god’s mortal Sower of Chaos. He spends the vast majority of the campaign doing such useful things as creating ice slicks under annoying NPCs and freezing people’s drinks. He also plays a Tiefling because absolutely no one can talk this boy out of playing the creepy demon race.

Rapunzel plays a woodland nymph druid who is also the party healer (because of course she is). Her name is probably Sunlily or something else suitably hippie-esque. Whenever there’s downtime (or whenever the rest of the party is also dicking around, and she can get away with it), Rapunzel likes to go into the nearest forest and pick the best berries and nuts for the rest of the party. She also loves baking fruit pies and cooking the best nymph food for her companions when given the chance. Definitely the party Cinnamon Roll (every party has one!). She often will turn into cute animals to distract the guards while the party infiltrates a building.

Merida’s character is the party archer and general ranged weapon master, as well as a raging lesbian. Hiccup learns very quickly that any male NPC who tries to flirt with her will very quickly get impaled with an arrow. She can’t ever decide if she wants to be a ranger or a rogue, so she multiclasses in both for flare. She also plays a Tiefling, and continually insists that her character is both scarier and sexier than Jack’s. In combat, she either Leeroy Jenkins her way in with a sword and just starts slashing every which way, or just shoots 90% of the enemies with arrows before the fight even starts. There’s really no in between. She can get away with this because she’s highkey one of the party tanks, and consistently deals a shitton of damage.

Anna plays a human bard, basically having read over the class options and going “Wait, in this one I get to make stylish medieval music??? And wear dramatic and garish outfits and a dumb hat??? And cast wacky illusion spells??? And do silly little magic tricks??? And INSPIRE EVERYONE??? Hell yeah, I’m in!!!” She mostly uses magic attacks in combat (definitely favors Tasha’s Hideous Laughter), but occasionally when she’s out of spell slots she’ll just take to slamming enemies in the face with her lute. She also has WAY too much fun with Vicious Mockery, let’s be real.

Elsa, upon hearing Jack’s character concept, rolls her eyes so far up in her head she can see her damn brain, and vows to play his concept, but serious–solely out of spite. She rolls up a super OP elf Chaos Sorcerer, filled with lots of brooding angst about how uncontrollable her winter powers can get if she isn’t careful. She combines it a bit with Storm Sorcerer so she can create literal blizzards, and Hiccup ends up allowing it just because he thinks it’s cool. Although Elsa’s character is undoubtedly aggravated by the rest of the party’s antics, she starts becoming grudgingly protective of these idiots and can deal some pretty crazy damage when her companions are threatened. She also contains one of the party’s only brain cells.

Eugene of course plays dashing rogue master thief Flynn Rider. Although his high deception and lockpicking skills certainly come in handy, he’s the most chaotic neutral fucker you’ve ever met and will take any excuse to rob NPCs blind or cheat them out of every cent they have in a tavern card game. It’s nigh impossible to get him to cooperate with the rest of the party much of the time, and often Elsa’s character has to either bribe him with some of her family’s gold or threaten to freeze him to stop him backstabbing one or more party members. Eugene’s character forces Hiccup to add in many more heist plotlines than he originally intended. This delights Eugene immensely, and sometimes he goes a bit crazy planning elaborate heists.

Moana plays a sorcerer water genasi. She can control any body of water, but she has a special affinity for controlling saltwater (i.e. the ocean lol). She also requests an animal handling bonus, but only with marine animals, solely because she thought it would be funny. She’s also an ex-pirate who robbed a lot of wealthy merchant ships and freed their slaves back in the day, which Merida thinks is incredibly badass. Moana tends to get bored and unengaged when there are no bodies of water to play around with, so Hiccup ends up having to add a lot more lakes, rivers, and oceans to the campaign than he originally planned on. Moana also takes a sailing skill, and thus the party often ends up traveling by boat. Typically Eugene and Rapunzel will infiltrate and hijack it, and Moana will sail it. Moana probably contains the party’s only other brain cell.

Astrid plays a gigantic berserker orc barbarian who is never without his trusty axe. Astrid is hands down the party’s top tank, and unquestionably deals the most damage every combat session. Much like Merida’s character, Astrid’s character is absolutely a shameless power fantasy. Hiccup pretty easily picks up on this, but is too polite to say anything about it. Jack also picks up on this, but is hardly as courteous as their DM, and teases Astrid mercilessly. Astrid is not amused.

Rapunzel requests that her weapon of choice be a frying pan, her justification being that her character found a discarded one at the edge of a human village outside her woods and mistaked it for a highly-dangerous human weapon. Hiccup is like “…you know what? Fuck it” and rolls up stats for a goddamn frying pan. Jack has nigh-endless admiration for Rapunzel for choosing such a goddamn memey, absurd, yet oddly effective weapon and it definitely makes the poor boy even more smitten with her than he already is.

Eugene and Merida have a bet going on who can sleep with more sexy barmaids. Merida is currently winning, much to Eugene’s chagrin. She’s not even inherently better at seducing NPCs, she and Eugene have the same charisma stat–she just consistently rolls better than Eugene. Eugene is incredibly salty about this.

Anna and Elsa want to be sisters in-game as well, but neither want to change their race–so Anna decides her character was adopted. Hiccup and the rest of the party go along with it, mainly because there’s something deeply hilarious about a regular human bard being adopted and raised by a family of high-powered elf ice mages.

Astrid is absolutely the sort of player who tends to get bored and restless outside of fights, and tends to fidget and twiddle her thumbs waiting for the next combat session. Jack picks up on this, and purposely does more roleplay for longer just to piss her off. He’s also just a very dramatic fucker and highkey loves roleplay.

When she’s not causing mayhem around the town or sleeping with hot women, Merida tries to entertain Astrid between combat sessions by offering to spar with her. Unfortunately, this does not usually end well for poor Merida, as even the most hardcore and badass of tieflings is prone to getting dumpstered by an 8-foot-tall barbarian orc with an axe. Astrid is, nonetheless, grateful to have someone to fight.

Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana will humor Hiccup and attempt to actually play the main plot. Meanwhile, Jack, Merida, and Eugene are a DM’s worst nightmare. They constantly derail the damn campaign to fuck around, cause mayhem, and do inane shenanigans in every. Damn. Town. They go to. Anna is kind of a wildcard–she’ll typically go with whatever group looks like they’re going to be doing something more interesting. Astrid will go along with whichever group is more likely to get into a fight–which, often as not, is Jack and his posse of terrible Chaotic Neutrals (who have definitely pissed off a number of NPCs into attacking them).

As the campaign goes on, Elsa and Eugene become the beleaguered Party Mom and Dad. Both are quite aggravated by this–especially poor Eugene, who just wanted to play a morally-gray charming rogue who stole everything and got away with it and then accidentally ended up caring about these idiots he got stuck with.

Anna initially joins the campaign because she has a planet-size crush on Hiccup, and inevitably is the one who dragged Elsa into it too. Being the hopeless romantic that she is, Anna writes a love interest into her backstory. Hiccup eventually has the party run into said love interest, and Anna is overjoyed. He starts flirting with her as the love interest, and it’s easily the best 30 minutes of Anna’s life.

Moana and Elsa also give Hiccup pretty detailed backstories, and he works in little subplots for them. Moana gets to bring water back to a dying part of the jungle in the middle of a draught, while Elsa gets to go on a whole sidequest to explore her family history and how they came to be sorcerers.

Jack, Merida, and Eugene also give Hiccup fairly elaborate backstories, but Jack’s and Merida’s are like 99% memes and Dumb Shit. Hiccup tries to give all of them backstory-related plot hooks, but inevitably any hooks he provides are either stabbed, robbed, or frozen. Honestly any plot hook offered to these 3 will be all but spat in the face of and tossed off a cliff.

The one relevant part of Eugene’s backstory is that he and Rapunzel decide they used to be partners in crime before the campaign started. Rapunzel would infiltrate and scout out places he wanted to rob as small, unobtrusive animals (her preferred Wild Shape is a chameleon) and later distract the guards as a bunny or kitten while he went in and took every gold coin in sight. In return, Flynn Rider would bribe builders to not develop into Sunlily’s forest. Rapunzel and Eugene partly came up with this For Funsies, but also it was Rapunzel’s sneaky way of tricking Eugene into having prior connections in the party so he’d be less likely to betray them. It works pretty well–although the entire party is protective of Cinnamon Roll Sunlily, Flynn is certainly especially protective of her.

Astrid does the absolute bare minimum as far as backstories go. She is literally just here to smash stuff, slice people, and beat some fuckers up.

Rapunzel has a backstory, but she’s typically so invested in the main plot and the other party members that Hiccup rarely needs to bring it in to keep her engaged. She’s highkey the party emotional rock, and probably the only one keeping them all together.

On that note, Rapunzel’s character is the ONLY one who can get Jack’s character to take the plot even REMOTELY seriously. Like he’ll be dicking around in the nearest tavern challenging the nearest orc to a drinking game, and Rapunzel will come in and ask him to help them on a Main Plot Quest. And he’ll be like “come onnnnn I’m having funnn” and she’ll be like “Jack pleeeeeease?” and you just. Can’t resist Sunlily’s puppy dog eyes. At all. Also, whenever Sunlily is genuinely threatened, any silliness immediately goes out the window and Jack Frost is OUT FOR BLOOD.

For better or for worse, Rapunzel is not immune to being looped into Jack’s shenanigans. Occasionally if either Merida or Eugene have a particularly hare-brained scheme she’ll go along with it, but by and large Jack is the most successful in convincing her to temporarily abandon the plot and cause mild mischief with him. They once wasted half a session creating an elaborate “ice theme park” for some squirrels in the forest.

Hiccup tries to get Merida to play the main plot by eventually having there be no more sexy female NPCs to seduce in the towns they go to. Unfortunately, this backfires–Merida just hooks up with Moana’s character instead. When asked to roll for how good the lay is, Merida gets a nat 20–and thus her character and Moana’s character end up hooking up regularly throughout the rest of the campaign.

Hiccup introduces a few Wise Old Mentor-type NPCs to guide the party throughout the campaign. While Rapunzel, Elsa, Moana, and Anna actually try to listen to them and take their advice, Merida, Jack, and Eugene absolutely refuse to take them seriously and mercilessly play pranks on them.

At one point, Hiccup gives the party the option to attempt to tame a group of wild dragons and use them as mounts. They all have to make animal handling checks. Anna, Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana pass. The rest of the party fails, with Jack and Eugene crit-failing. Hilarity ensues.

Hiccup ends up bringing back Anna’s backstory love interest as an NPC regular. Anna thinks he’s just being a good friend and a good DM and trying to incorporate her backstory as much as he can, but really, he just wants an excuse to regularly flirt with her. He hardly has the balls to out-of-game.

Merida comes out as gay toward the end of the campaign. Everyone in the group is extremely supportive, of course, but everyone is also like “Merida…with the amount of barmaids you’ve banged…and the amount of times you and Moana’s character hooked up…this isn’t exactly surprising.”

Hiccup actually finds a way to use Jack and Elsa’s same-concept-opposite-execution characters to the plot’s advantage. He decides one of the main villains will have a prophecy saying he’ll be taken down by a powerful ice mage. The party manages to fool this guy into thinking this ice mage is Jack, and sends Jack to fight him. As soon as the villain sees Jack, he’s like “WHAT??? THIS clown???” (word has absolutely spread throughout the land of Jack not using his ice powers for anything besides mildly annoying trolling). Naturally, the bad guy lets his guard down after thinking he’s going to fight this literal joke, and then Elsa crashes in from the side and absolutely dumpsters him.

Jack tries to defeat the final boss by just annoying him so much that he leaves. Unfortunately, he just annoys him so much that he attacks Rapunzel’s character. Jack’s just like “oh HELL no” and attacks with absolutely nothing held back. Turns out he’s pretty terrifying when he’s not using his magic for Dumb Antics.

During the final boss of the campaign, the Big Bad tries to one-shot Moana’s character, and Merida’s character super theatrically jumps in front of her to take the blow instead. Rapunzel just barely manages to heal Merida’s character, but it’s a really close call. During all this, Merida is like “ah shit...maybe I’m NOT just in this to get fantasy-laid.” After the fight’s over, her and Moana’s characters have a big dramatic love confession and share a Big Damn Kiss in front of everyone. It’s pretty epic.

After the final session of the campaign, Merida drags Moana outside Jack’s apartment and sputters and trips over her words for a solid minute before she finally gets out that through all this nonsense...well...maybe it’s not just in the game that she thinks Moana is hot. Moana just gets this HUGE grin on her face and says “c’mere, Leeroy Jenkins” and just pulls Merida in and kisses her. Cue the rest of the party barging in on them. Merida and Moana freeze, and there’s a moment of terrified silence...and then the entire party starts cheering them on like “took you long enough!”

The entire rest of the party could detect the sexual tension. Literally all of them.

But Eugene is like “HA, THIS MEANS IF WE DO A SEQUEL CAMPAIGN I’M WINNING THAT BET! BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA BE DATING MO’S CHAR AND THUS NOT ABLE TO SLEEP WITH ANY MORE BARMAIDS!”

By the epilogue session, Jack and Rapunzel are dating. Merida and Moana are also dating. Hiccup and Anna STILL haven’t figured out why they’re so prone to spending half the session flirting when Anna’s love interest shows up, and Hiccup STILL hasn’t figured out why he likes to have Anna’s love interest show up so often. Bless their souls. Maybe they’ll figure it out next campaign...?

Damn I actually really like this...maybe if people like it I’ll do some incorrect quotes or a drabble or something??? Or maybe some HCs from next campaign???

[yikesharringrove]

His Fault.

Thank you @thinger-strang for the commission! 💕

Read on Ao3

Steve took Max first, grabbing her around the knees and lifting.

He didn’t know which kid was which, just picked them up and shoved them through the hole in the ground.

No thoughts in his head besides getting the kids to safety.

He was still dizzy from the fight, from Max’s wild driving, from being thrown into low oxygen conditions.

He grabbed Dustin.

The last kid to get through.

There was a rumble.

The ground shook.

And Steve stared death right in its face.

A pack of demodogs, heading right for them.

He grabbed Dustin, thought maybe, maybe he could shield him.

If this kid dies, it’s all my fault.

But the ‘dogs passed them by.

On their way to protect from El.

Because their plan didn’t work. Their carefully crafted idea to help El was bullshit.

He pushed Dustin up to safety.

He had brought these kids down here for no reason.

They had all gotten hurt for no reason.

All because of him.

-

Steve’s knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.

He was trying to get himself to get up, get out of the car.

Staring through the windshield at the small service.

Barb’s funeral.

The girl that died right outside his house. The girl who died in his pool.

The girl he killed.

By being too preoccupied with Nancy. By being too much of a stupid fucking jock.

It’s all his fault.

He got out of the car, stayed mostly to himself throughout the service.

He hugged Barb’s parents afterwards, offered his condolences.

He got the feeling that they never really liked him.

That’s okay. He doesn't really blame them.

And if they knew, if they knew what he did to their Barb-

They would do more than just not like him.

He spent the rest of the day in bed, thoughts of your fault your fault your fault whipping through his brain.

He killed Barb.

-

Steve was trying to think quickly.

It was a little tricky, what with the pounding in his head, the hits he was taking right to the gut.

He needed to somehow talk his way out of this.

Which sucked because talking has never been his strong point.

But he brought Robin into all of this. He had let Erica climb through those vents to get them into the elevator. He had helped Dustin suss out what the message meant.

Actually, he hadn’t.

He had been too fucking stupid to help with that.

No.

He had just encouraged the translation that was happening around him.

Had just walked three people right into the clutches of the Upside Down, and these violent goddamn Russians, and-

That one hurt.

He woke up sometime later to Robin yelling.

“Hey, will you stop yelling?”

“Steve! Oh my God! Steve!”

She sounded, actually relieved.

“Are you okay?”

-

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”

Robin was sitting next to him, both wrapped in thick blankets.

They had their own ambulance, Nancy and Jonathan in the one next door.

He had watched them take Billy off on a gurney, watched them slam a defibrillator to his body until his heart started beating again, watched them load him into the back of an ambulance, and take him off to the hospital.

The adrenaline, the heavy drugs, it was all out of his system.

And he was crashing.

“I shouldn’t have roped you into this. I shouldn’t have talked Dustin into translating the tape, I shouldn’t have-”

“Okay, Dingus. Let’s get some things straight. I’m pretty sure Dustin talked you into the translations. I don’t know if you’d be able to talk Dustin into anything. And you didn’t rope me into shit.”

“I mean, I mean with the Upside Down. This whole fucking conspiracy. You deserved to go your whole damn life without knowing any of this.”

“But Steve, I know about it now. The milk has been spilled. So stop crying.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Yes, it is.

-

“Hi, welcome to Family- Nancy?”

Nancy had stopped in the doorway, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“Steve. I didn’t know you were working here.”

“Yeah. You know, with the mall being all, burnt down. And stuff.” She nodded slowly, stock still in the doorway. “Can I help you find something?”

“No. Thanks. I’m just browsing.”

“Well, uh, let me know if you need help. Or ask Robin, maybe. She’s better with the recommends.” Nancy seemed to startle, stepping into the store properly.

“Thanks, Steve.” He smiled tightly at her.

They really hadn’t talked since breaking up.

Of course, they’d spoken in the summer, but that was less exchanging pleasantries, more how do we stop the giant fleshy monster that’s trying to take over the whole world?

Which isn’t quite the same.

She browsed through the aisles, Steve doodling on the carbon pad next to the register.

She smiled tightly at him, a few tapes in hand.

“So, uh, how are you?” They hadn’t spoken since that night. Since he wandered over to her ambulance, checking in with her and Jonathan.

“I’m okay. Just working and stuff. Obviously.”

“And how’s Billy?”

“Managing. He’s in all kindsa therapy and stuff now.”

“That’s, that’s good.” She was all stiff as he handed her her change. “It’s good to see you, Steve.”

“Yeah, Nancy. Yeah, you too.”

He hated how shitty and awkward that had been.

Hated that she was the person he felt closest to for the better part of a year, and now they’re stuck with light conversation and forced smiles.

He pushed her so hard.

Always poking and poking.

Always too clingy, always too emotional, not emotional enough. Too insensitive, or just too much work.

He doesn’t know how anyone puts up with him.

-

“Hey,” Billy smiled softly at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, now that my little nurse is here.” Steve rolled his eyes, smiling back as he sat on the bed next to Billy.

He had brought him to his house from the military hospital.

Billy still had a long road of healing. His scars were pulled together, and the wounds were closed, but everything was still pretty rough.

“Can I get you anything?” Billy reached over for him.

His hands were scarred and rough, and he was still trying to regain feeling, the nerves having suffered far too much damage.

“Nah. Just sit with me.”

Steve took one of his hands, stretching his hand like the doctor had shown him.

“Have you eaten today?”

“Nah. My stomach’s all outta whack today. Don’t know if I could keep anything down.” Steve furrowed his brows.

“Are you, can I make you something? Soup?”

“Stevie, I’m okay. One day’s not gonna kill me.” It felt like the bottom dropped out of his stomach. Something must've shown on his face because Billy was trying to sit up. “Sorry, that was a shitty joke.”

“No, I just-”

“It’s okay. Sorry.” Steve tried to gather himself.

“Don’t like jokes about you dying. Thought you were dead for, for like a week, you know. Before they told us you were stable.”

“Baby, it’s alright. I know it was hard on you.” Steve blinked rapidly.

“But I mean, it’s like, youwere the one, the one in the hospital I shouldn’t,” he stood up, Billy wincing as the bed shifted. “I’m gonna make you something.”

He was holding back tears as he spread peanut butter and jelly onto saltine crackers.

Billy had the best luck keeping it down when he felt sick.

He felt like shit whenever he did that. Got all mopey on Billy.

Billy was the one trying not to die in a hospital bed. Steve was just, doing what Steve does.

Making everything about himself.

He brought Billy the plate, kneeling next to him in bed.

“You okay?” Steve just shook his head, plastering on a nice smile for Billy.

“I’m fine, Bill. Just try to eat? For me?”

Billy managed three of the crackers before he heaved into the garbage bin placed next to the bed.

Steve felt like shit.

Billy’s core muscles were still healing, and throwing up only made him sore, made him tired and in pain.

“Billy, I’m sorry.”

He shouldn’t have made Billy eat. Shouldn’t have tried to make himself feel better by force-feeding Billy while he felt bad.

When he finally stopped, Steve helped him to the bathroom to wash out his mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

“Steve, it’s not your fault.”

“But you said you didn’t feel good.”

“You’re just trying to take care of me.”

Keyword here being trying.

Trying and failing at taking care of Billy.

-

“Steve, are you busy tonight?” Dustin had thrown open the door to Family Video stomping inside.

“I mean, no but I thought, isn’t tonight your big tournament?”

Dustin sighed dramatically.

“The arcade is closed.”

Dustin had been saving up for months, using the end of the summer to mow neighbors’ lawns.

Steve had even paid him to mow his own lawn.

He and the gang were going to rage for hours, Dustin organizing a special secret prize for whoever got the highest cumulative score.

He had put so much thought into everything, had been so excited.

And the arcade was closed.

“Can I talk to Keith?”

“Be my guest.”

Dustin pushed into the backroom.

Steve could hear his voice, could hear him arguing with Keith.

He came back out, Keith following behind.

“Harrington, I told you, customers aren’t allowed in the back.” He pointed to the Employees Only sign on the door. “Can you even read?” Keith rolled his eyes. Steve studied his shoes.

“And Henderson, I told you, the arcade is closed for renovations. A pipe burst in the storeroom.” Dustin Huffed. “Just, rent a movie or something. But you know, don’t ask for Harrington’s recommendation.”

Keith laughed to himself as he retreated to the back.

“Like I would ask you for a recommendation. I know what kind of movies you like.” Steve forced a smile at him.

“Sorry about your game night.” Dustin shrugged.

“I thought it’d be fun. We haven’t played DnD since Will moved. It just feels wrong without him, I guess. I thought this could bring us back to the fun spirit.”

“It’s a good idea. I’m sorry you’re gonna have to postpone.”

Steve just kinda lived with a big ol’ bit in his stomach these days.

But every time something like this happened, something where his friend was sad, and Steve was completely useless to help him, the pit seemed to grow.

He wonders what happens when the pit gets too big.

-

Billy stretched his arms above his head, wincing slightly.

“You okay?”

Billy blew out a breath, rubbing his chest.

“Yeah. Just cold. It hurts.” They were standing outside, waiting for the kids to be finished with school.

Steve drove Dustin and Max home, usually brought Billy along with him.

Neil had been one of the flayed, the only casualty Billy said he didn’t feel bad for.

So Max had moved with her mom into a tiny two-bedroom house.

Billy was still staying with Steve for the time being.

“Oh! I got a sweater in my trunk.” Steve ran around to the back of the car, unlocking the trunk and digging through.

He kept his car pretty clean, just his bat, some jumper cables, and a go-bag.

So he should see the sweater right away.

But he didn’t.

He frantically shifted everything around.

“No, no.”

The sweater wasn’t there.

“Fuck are you, are you serious?”

He genuinely could cry.

Billy was blowing into his hands, rubbing them together when Steve slumped back over to him.

“Billy, I’m sorry. It’s not in there.” Billy squinted at him.

“That’s okay.”

“I thought it was, but I must’ve taken it out, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. Just, you know, come here and make it up to me.” He had a lazy smile on his face. “Come keep me warm.”

Steve wrapped himself around Billy, burying his face in his neck.

“I wish I could keep you warmer. I wish I had that sweater.”

“Baby, I’m okay. Just achy.”

Steve made sure to turn up the heat full blast when they got back in, the kids in the backseat.

-

“Fuck!”

The bottom of the box had given out, tapes crashing to the tiled floor.

He had been on his way to reshelve everything, after spending all day in the back rewinding.

But here he was, checking each plastic tape for cracks as he tried to find something else to put them in.

“Jesus Christ, Harrington.”

Ah, yes. That’s what he needs right now. Keith standing over him while he cleaned up the mess of tapes.

“What’d you do now?”

“The box, it just fell apart.”

“You know, Robin really went out on a limb to you to get this job.” Keith was standing over him, staring down at Steve sill kneeling on the ground. “Maybe I should just fire you both.”

“Wait, no!”

Steve’s heart was in his throat.

It felt like he was gonna choke on it.

“You, you can’t, I don’t care if you hate me, okay, just, just don’t fire Robin!”

Keith loved to do this. Dangle his measly power as manager over Steve.

Robin said it was some kind of revenge fantasy for how shitty Steve was to him in high school.

Steve just figures he deserves it.

Bottom of the food chain now. That’s where he is.

The guy that thought he was the hottest shit to walk the Earth. The guy that barely graduated. The guy that had to linger around his hometown. The guy has no life. The guy that has no future.

“Why not? She vouched for you.” Keith was eating a pack of M&Ms, crunching each one loudly between his teeth.

“Just, just don’t.” Steve felt like he could cry.

“Then get this cleaned up, and I’ll consider letting you both stay.”

Steve just nodded.

He didn’t think his voice would work without cracking all over the place.

He found a crate in the stockroom, stacking the tapes as quickly as he could.

He liked reshelving.

The organization system made sense, and he could do it easily without having to know anything about the movies, without having to know anything besides the alphabet, and the genre sticker each tape had.

Robin was better with customers.

Better at making change and recommending movies. Better at talking to people without sounding like an idiot.

But he finished reshelving, and had to retreat behind the counter.

“You’re being weird today.”

Steve had zoned out, staring through the front windows.

“Sorry.”

“Bad night?” he just nodded slowly. He didn’t want to tell her about Keith’s little threat. She would just go on a rampage. Probably yell at him a lot. And if Steve being a fuck up didn’t get her fired, defending him for sure would. Plus, it’s not like it’s a lie. Most nights are bad. “Steve, are you sure you’re okay? It feels like,” she glanced around. “It feels like you’re getting, like, worse.”

“Sorry.” She furrowed her brows.

“That’s not something you need to apologize for, you know that, right? I’m just worried about you.”

“Sorry.” Her face pinched up even more.

“Steve.”

“Yeah, I, just you know. Not sleeping much.”

“I could come over? You said it’s better when there’s sound in your house. I can stomp around for a while.” He huffed a laugh through his nose, giving her the biggest smile he could muster.

“That’s okay. I’m managing, Rob.” She raised one eyebrow. “And besides, I, uh, I won’t be home tonight.”

She made a face at him, pursing her lips so she didn’t smile.

Billy had gotten his own apartment with the money the government had given him, a little thank you for your discretion gift when he was released from the hospital.

He had spent nearly a month in a coma, a month in which Steve had only left his room a handful of times. After waking up, delirious, and in pain, he had spent the next six months in heavy rehabilitation, in daily therapy, both mental and physical, in which Steve practically lived at the hospital with him.

They had bonded more than Robin could ever know, both boys spilling everything to one another, every dark thought, every bad memory.

Long story short, they were inseparable.

“Then have a fun night. And talk to Billy. Tell him you’re struggling.”

“I’m not-”

She stomped her foot, giving him a stern look.

“Yeah, okay.”

-

“Shit.”

Steve knew he had a key to Billy’s apartment.

But it wasn’t on his key ring.

“Are you kidding me?” He knocked on the door.

It took Billy a few minutes to come get him.

“I’m sorry, I, I lost my key.” Billy looked tired . It was Thursday. Billy was a stockboy at Meldvald’s on Thursdays. His doctor said getting a job would be nice, that it would help him rejoin society, make him feel good to support himself, all this shit.

Mostly, it just made Billy’s sore.

“It’s okay.”

“No, but, it’s not on my ring! I don’t know where it fell off, it could be anywhere, you might have to change the locks or-”

“Steve! It’s fine. Just get in here.”

Steve snapped his jaw closed. Billy shuffled back to the couch, groaning as he sat down slowly.

“Can I get you something? Have you eaten? I can rub your back if-”

“Harrington, just come sit with me.” Billy was giving him a little half-smile.

Steve stumbled over to the couch, and tucked himself right under Billy’s arm.

“What are we watching?”

“Some soap. There’s been a marathon all evening. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen.” Steve leaned his head against Billy.

He had no clue what was going on. Had a question on the tip of his tongue, ready to ask about the plot points, the characters.

But he’s bothered Billy enough tonight, making him get up to open the door, always, always bothering-

“Hey, where’d you go?” Billy was stroking one rough hand through his hair.

“Nowhere.”

“Robin called me from the video store.” Steve sighed, burying his face into Billy’s neck. “We’re worried about you.”

“Don’t be. I’m okay.”

“Yeah, you’re always okay.” He said it like he was mad, like he was frustrated with Steve.

He pulled back, sliding to the other end of the couch.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry.” Billy was staring blankly at him. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

“I’m not mad. What are you even-” he cut himself off. “Steve, talk to me. You’re getting, distant.”

“I’m-”

“Please stop apologizing.”

Steve swallowed thickly.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you. You’re slipping through my fingers, and I don’t know how to help you.”

“I-” Steve’s throat was closing up. “I don’t know what to do.”

Billy shifted stiffly, reaching out for Steve’s hand.

“Talk to me, Baby. You know I’ll listen.”

“I, uh, I just.” His jaw was moving, but he couldn’t form any words.

Billy took his hands, pulling him gently.

Steve let himself be tugged, let himself fall into Billy’s lap.

“It’s all my fault.”

“What’s your fault?”

“All of it.”

“Can you, maybe elaborate?”

“Everything. It’s all my fault.” His chest felt pulled tight, and he couldn’t fucking breathe. “Everything, everything. My fault.”

Billy had no fucking idea what to do.

Steve was breathing sharply, his eyes squeezed closed.

He had both hands in his hair, pulling roughly.

“Steve, hey.” He took his wrists, trying to stop him. “Steve, I need you to breathe, okay? Can you do that?” Steve shook his head.

“Just, just try to take as deep a breath as you can, okay?”

Billy was trying to remember what his shrink had told him, the tips for dealing with his own panic.

But watching Steve fall apart, well. It was hard for Billy to keep it together.

He sat with Steve, holding his hands until he opened his eyes, until he was breathing without Billy reminding him to do it.

“Steve. Sugar. Talk to me.”

Steve was still slumped over, still had his head in Billy’s lap.

He turned to bury his face in Billy’s thigh.

“Sometimes I feel like the world is crushing me. And I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Can you explain that to me? You said everything was your fault.”

“Like, like Barb. She, it was my fault she died, and my fault the kids almost got hurt in the tunnels, and my fault that Dustin and Robin and Erica got stuck in the lab, and, and, and I’m so bad at taking care of you. I can’t do anything right.”

Billy could feel his tears, wet patches soaking through his sweatpants.

“You do a lot of stuff right!”

“Keith told me he was gonna fire Robin today, because I messed up again.”

“Fuck Keith. No way that creep has firing power. And maybe you should talk to Robin. Or go to your boss about him. He just likes going on a power trip with you.

“And as for, well everything, Pretty Boy, none of that was your fault. Barb was killed by, by a monster-”

“At my house, at my party, in my pool.”

“Still not your fault.”

“I thought she had left, you know? I didn’t know she was out there.”

“That just proves my point! You didn’t know she was out there, you didn’t know what was going to happen. That whole event , it had nothing to do with you. And the kids like, fully kidnapped you to bring you to the tunnels. If anything, that’s my fault for, you know. Doing what I did.”

Billy took a deep breath.

“I know a lot about guilt. I know how it feels like you’re just, you’re drowning. And you’re never gonna get to the surface, but that, that stuff. People make their own choices. You can’t control what other people do, you can just control what you do. And you, you do nothing but good. You just love, and you love, and you love. You always do what you think is best, and that’s what matters.”

“I feel bad all that time. Like, like right now I feel bad because, because of course you feel guilty, and I’m saying shit that doesn’t matter, and my problems they don’t-”

“Don’t you dare say your problems don't matter.” Billy was tangling his fingers through Steve’s hair, playing with it gently. “Your problems matter . They matter to me. It hurts me that you're struggling. It hurts me that I didn’t notice.”

“Billy, it’s not your fault.”

“You say that like it’s so easy. You take my guilt and you ease it. And that’s what I want for you.” Steve wasn’t crying anymore, but he was still curled up on the couch, still had his face pressed against Billy’s leg.

“I don’t know how. I’ve been so thoroughly crushed under all this that I’m scared of what happens if I claw through it all.”

“Maybe you won’t feel like shit all the time.”

“Feeling like shit is the easy part. It’s predictable.”

“I know. It’s safe .”

“Yeah. What do people even think about if they aren’t thinking about all the problems of the people closest to them and finding ways to blame themselves?” Billy laughed at that. Steve could feel his belly moving next to him.

It was a nice moment.

“I don’t know. That’s what movies and books are for. When you’ve got shit else to think about because you’re not trapped under a mountain of guilt.”

“Probably why I’ve read so few books, then.”

“We need to start watching more movies.”

-

“We need to talk about Steve.”

“Hi, Robin. It’s great to see you. How’s your day?” Robin rolled her eyes. She was leaned over the counter at Family Video, flicking through a magazine.

“He had a break down last night.”

“Finally. He’s been hanging on by a thread for weeks,”

“Yeah, try years.” She looked up at him.

“What do you mean?”

“He like, unloaded fully. He still blames himself for the girl that got killed in his backyard.”

“Wait, he thinks that’s his fault?”

“Yeah, and the kids in the tunnels, and also you and Dustin and Erica being brought into the whole mess. And also that he’s bad at taking care of me? Which, don’t know how he got that one. He does a really fucking good job taking care of me.”

“Jesus. He’s like, stressed.”

“To put it lightly.”

“So, what’s up? Where do I come in?”

“I’m planning an evening. A We Love Steve Harrington party.”

“I can be snack duty.” He smiled at her, clapping her on the shoulder. “It just us?”

“Yeah. I figured to leave the kids out of this one.”

“Good choice.”

“Be over at seven.” She nodded once, giving him a two-finger salute.

-

Steve was curled up, Billy spooned up behind him when there was a knock on the door.

“Go get that, will you? I’m all stiff.” Steve turned around, looking at Billy all concerned. “Go on. I’m okay.”

Billy had to shove him away before he finally went to answer the door.

“Oh, Robin, uh, hey.” She pushed one of her shopping bags into his arms.

“I was invited for an evening of bolstering you up.”

Billy came lumbering in, throwing himself down on the couch.

“I, don’t get it.”

“Robin’s here because you need some lovin’.” Steve’s bottom lip wobbled.

“That’s really nice.”

“You deserve it.” Billy was looking at him seriously.

Steve tucked himself into Billy’s side, Robin shoving herself next to him on the little couch.

Billy had pulled out all his lumpy blankets, and they had already torn into a box of cookies.

Steve was all warm.

Curled up in the blankets, watching The Aristocats.

“Thank you, guys. For this. It means a lot.”

“Can it, Dingus. Thomas O’Malley’s gonna sing.”

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

DnD Question things, I litteralt rolled 2 dices do do it so 5 and 7

Nice!

How does your character express they’re comfortable?

With people? Raelynn Sternguard will be the sweetest and most physically affectionate person you can imagine. She’ll pull the boys into headlocks and ruffle their hair or tackle them for an impromptu wrestling match. She give the girls little cheek kisses and hold them in her lap. She loves a good cuddle puddle and just adores being near those she trusts. Her cocky nature will take more of a back seat and she’ll be more vulnerable and soft.

In a situation? She’ll be less on edge and arrogant seeming. She trains a little less and will actually relax rather than be constantly ready for a fight.

How impulsive is your character?

Rae is a very impulsive bastard. Last session... the gang got trapped behind a steel lattice and her immediate response was to slam her shoulder against it to knock it down.

In her defence... it worked! She rolled two nat20’s and busted that shit down in two strikes.